By Dwayne Yancey
Copyright 2004; all rights reserved.
(A waiting room at heavens gate. An angel sits at the receptionists desk. There are some seats, a soaking-wet Californian waits in one of them. A soaking-wet Floridian is standing at the receptionists desk. Theyve both just jumped off bridges to their death and are now awaiting judgment.)
ANGEL: You can just have a seat right over there.
FLORIDIAN: Over here?
ANGEL: Well call you when were ready.
FLORIDIAN: Will it take long?
ANGEL: It could take an eternity. Just go have a seat and well let you know.
ANGEL: And try not to track too much water over there, OK?
(Floridian goes and sits.)
ANGEL (on the phone): Can you have maintenance come up here again? Yeah, weve had another jumper come in. (Optional:) Its like a flood up here or something. I thought we werent going to do that again?
CALIFORNIAN: You, too, huh?
FLORIDIAN: I guess so.
CALIFORNIAN: Jumped, right?
FLORIDIAN: Me? Yeah, I jumped.
CALIFORNIAN: Thought so. Me, too.
FLORIDIAN: I see.
CALIFORNIAN: Golden Gate Bridge.
CALIFORNIAN: How bout you?
FLORIDIAN: Sunshine Skyway Bridge.
CALIFORNIAN: Hmm. Wheres that?
FLORIDIAN: Tampa-St. Pete. Actually, its from St. Petersburg over to Bradenton. On down the Gulf Coast. That way.
CALIFORNIAN: I see.
FLORIDIAN: Although I was coming the other way; I drove up from the south, so I came through Sarasota and Bradenton.
FLORIDIAN: Never got to St. Pete. But guess you can tell, huh?
FLORIDIAN: Nice view, though. I caught a little glimpse on the way down.
CALIFORNIAN: So whatd it cost?
FLORIDIAN: What did what cost?
CALIFORNIAN: The bridge toll. Golden Gate cost me five dollars. Last five dollars I ever spent.
FLORIDIAN: Five dollars? Geez. What a rip-off. The Sunshine Skyway is only a dollar.
CALIFORNIAN: A dollar? Damn. I wasted four dollars. Now Im really depressed.
FLORIDIAN: Money troubles?
CALIFORNIAN: Money troubles. Women troubles. Just general life troubles. You name it, I got it. How about you?
FLORIDIAN: Pretty simple, really. Lost my shirt in the real estate market.
CALIFORNIAN: So how long did it take you?
FLORIDIAN: To do what? To decide to do it?
CALIFORNIAN: No, you know. (Makes a dropping motion.)
FLORIDIAN: Well, I didnt really time it. But Ive heard it takes about six seconds. It goes by pretty fast.
CALIFORNIAN: Four seconds off the Golden Gate.
FLORIDIAN: Four seconds, huh?
CALIFORNIAN: Four. One, two, three (smacks his hands.)
FLORIDIAN: So you paid four dollars more to shave off two seconds.
CALIFORNIAN: Guess you could look at it that
FLORIDIAN: Sorta like paying more to go through the express lane.
CALIFORNIAN: I suppose, if you want to look at it that way.
FLORIDAN: I think I got the better deal. Saved four dollars, but took about the same amount of time. Whats the difference between four seconds and six seconds? Not a lot. Not those seconds.
CALIFORNIAN: Its like anything else; you pay for the brand name.
FLORIDIAN: How you mean?
CALIFORNIAN: The Golden Gate. Lot more prestige jumping off the Golden Gate than the Sunway Skyshine
FLORIDIAN: Sunshine Skyway.
CALIFORNIAN: Whatever. See, nobody knows it.
FLORIDIAN: Second only to the Golden Gate in the number of jumpers each year. Somebody knows it.
CALIFORNIAN: Still, its not a brand name. Not like the Golden Gate, you know?
FLORIDIAN: Got the job done, though, didnt it?
CALIFORNIAN: Guess so. I kinda like the prestige though. Sorta thing people will talk about. Bet at my high school reunion, thats what theyll be saying about me: "Yeah, you remember old Tom? Jumped off the Golden Gate Bridge."
"The Golden Gate Bridge?"
"The Golden Gate Bridge!"
"Wow, the Golden Gate Bridge."
So what are they gonna be saying about you at your high school reunion?
FLORIDIAN: Oh, I dunno. Hadnt really thought about it.
CALIFORNIAN: Whats your name?
CALIFORNIAN: "Yeah, old John. Whatever happened to him?"
"Oh, you didnt hear? He jumped off some bridge in Florida."
"Hmm. Too bad."
"Yeah, too bad."
See, its not the same. The Golden Gate, people will remember that. People will talk about that.
ANGEL: St. Peter will see you now.
(Califorian gets up.)
FLORIDIAN: Hmm. I wish Id had four more dollars.
CALIFORNIAN: Well, too late now.
------- THE END ------
CAST OF CHARACTERS
Three two male, one female
1791 Mount Pleasant Church Road
Fincastle, VA 24090
Days: 540 981 3113
Nights: 540 473 3313
E-mail: firstname.lastname@example.org or email@example.com
Website: www.storyfoundry.com, search under "playwrights"THIS SCRIPT IS COPYRIGHTED MATERIAL AND MAY NOT BE DOWNLOADED, TRANSMITTED, PRINTED OR PERFORMED WITHOUT THE EXPRESS PERMISSION OF THE AUTHOR
performed by Todd Ristau, and Katerina Yancey