copyright © 2004 Dwayne Yancey


By Dwayne Yancey

Copyright 2004; all rights reserved.

(The scene: A TV studio. It’s July 1776. Two chairs are set up for an interview program. The host is greeting his guest, Thomas Jefferson, just before the show is about to air.)

HOST: Right this way, Mr. Jefferson. We’ll be doing the interview right here. I can’t tell you again how much we appreciate you coming onto the show on such short notice. I know these are pretty busy days for you, what with your Declaration and all. You must have stayed up a lot of nights working on that, huh?

JEFFERSON (distracted, looking around the studio, waving at any women he sees): What? Nights? Oh yeah. I’m busy a lot of nights.

(A make-up artist comes up to Jefferson with make-up to apply)

MAKE-UP ARTIST: Care for a touch, sir?

JEFFERSON: From you, darling? Anytime.

MAKE-UP ARTIST (ignoring the double entendre and applying the make-up): Just a little powder on your cheeks?

JEFFERSON: Oh, you mean these cheeks. You can powder anything you like.

(Make-up artist continues work, while host starts talking.)

HOST: All right, so, let’s just run through a few things before we start.

MAKE-UP ARTIST: There, that should do it.

JEFFERSON (smiling): That’s what you think.

(Make-up artist exits; Jefferson eyes her departure.)

HOST: The camera’s right over there.

JEFFERSON (still distracted): Uh-huh.

HOST: I’ll do an intro, and then ask you for a few questions about this Declaration business, and that will be it. So, any questions?

JEFFERSON: Who’s the chick over there?

HOST: What? The make-up woman?

JEFFERSON: No, the other one. Over there. In the corner.

HOST: Oh, you mean Sally?

JEFFERSON: A little brown sugar, eh? I like it.

HOST: She’s the grip.

JEFFERSON: Oh, I’d like to get a grip.

HOST: Right, OK. So, we’ve got 30 seconds before we air. Can I get you anything to drink? Coffee? Tea, perhaps?

JEFFERSON: Uh, no thanks. No tea.

HOST: That’s right. You’re boycotting tea after that business up in Boston Harbor.


HOST: So is there anything I can get you? Ale? Wine? Water?

JEFFERSON: How about a little brown sugar?

HOST: What? Mr. Jefferson! Really! What a kidder! I had no idea you had such a wicked sense of humor. OK, 15 seconds to air.

JEFFERSON: No, I’m serious. To hell with this Founding Father business. (To the unseen woman in the corner.) You need a sugar daddy, mama? You just come see me after the show.

HOST: Mr. Jefferson!

PRODUCER: Five seconds! Four! Three! Two, one!

HOST: Good evening and welcome to the Colonial Broadcasting System. Tonight, our guest is a young Virginia gentleman who has been in the news lately for writing the controversial document known as the Declaration of Independence – none other than Thomas Jefferson. Mr. Jefferson, welcome to our show.

JEFFERSON (acting quite serious now): Thanks for having me.

HOST: So, let’s cut right to the chase: What would you say is the key part of your Declaration? Can you pick out one key line?

JEFFERSON: I’d say it’s the line "all men are created equal."

HOST: "All men are created equal." Fascinating. Let’s explore this some more. Now just what do you mean by this phrase "all men are created equal"?

(Lights out).

------- THE END ---------------

Dwayne Yancey

1791 Mount Pleasant Church Road

Fincastle, VA 24090


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