(There are two versions of this script – Version 1 has the female teacher as the uptight chaperone, Version 2 puts the male teacher in that role.)

(The chaperone table at the prom. A teacher, Miss Speedwell is sitting down, very relaxed, as she surveys the dance crowd. Another teacher, Mr. Lester enters, in a huff. He’s uptight about everything.)

MISS SPEEDWELL: So what was the matter?

MR. LESTER: Smoking! Girls, too, apparently.

MISS SPEEDWELL: So did you catch them?

MR. LESTER: No. They slipped away from me.

MISS SPEEDWELL: That’s one thing that’s different. In my day, it would have just been the boys that were smoking at the prom.

MR. LESTER: I think it was that Kristin girl but I can’t prove it.

MISS SPEEDWELL: The one in the blue dress?

MR. LESTER: If you call that a dress. Just look at her. On second thought, no, don’t look at her. It’s not decent. I can’t believe her parents let her out of the house dressed like that. (Pause) Wonder what keeps her corsage on?

MISS SPEEDWELL: So where’s your corsage?

MR. LESTER (momentarily distracted): What? Oh. I didn’t bother to get one. Too much trouble. (Focusing again on the assigned task.) So did you keep your eye on the punch bowl like I told you too?

MISS SPEEDWELL (unconvincingly): Yeah.

MR. LESTER: But did you keep your eye on it?

MISS SPEEDWELL: The punch bowl is fine, Mr. Lester.

MR. LESTER: Because you know some of those boys will try to spike it. They’re like that you know, Miss Speedwell.

MISS SPEEDWELL: Nobody’s going to spike the punch bowl.

MR. LESTER: They spiked the punch bowl at my prom.

MISS SPEEDWELL: And what happened?

MR. LESTER: I don’t know. I wasn’t there.

MISS SPEEDWELL: What do you mean, you weren’t there?

MR. LESTER: Just what I said. I wasn’t there.

MISS SPEEDWELL: Why didn’t you go to your prom?

MR. LESTER: Because.

MISS SPEEDWELL: Because why?

MR. LESTER: Just keep an eye on that punch bowl, OK? You’ve got to take this chaperone job seriously.

MISS SPEEDWELL: I’m taking it serious. But I don’t think the punch bowl is in any danger.

MR. LESTER: I wouldn’t have had any fun anyway.

MISS SPEEDWELL: Fun where?

MR. LESTER: At my prom. All those flashing lights and stuff – they’d make my head hurt.

MISS SPEEDWELL: I thought you said you didn’t go?

MR. LESTER: I was on the decorating committee. I put up the bunting and then I went home.

MISS SPEEDWELL: You didn’t have a date?

MR. LESTER: I didn’t want to go anyway. Now look at that – isn’t that just disgusting?

MISS SPEEDWELL: What? It’s just dancing.

MR. LESTER: You call that dancing? It looks more like they’re – you know. Oh! Aren’t you going to go out and make them stop?

MISS SPEEDWELL: Relax. They’re enjoying themselves.

MR. LESTER: He’s certainly enjoying himself, that’s for sure.

MISS SPEEDWELL: If you crack down on them, they’ll just leave and go get in trouble somewhere else. And we don’t want that.

MR. LESTER: At least then we wouldn’t have to sit here and listen to that awful music. How do they stand that?

MISS SPEEDWELL: It’s the fashion nowadays. I’m sure it’s no worse than some of the music we had to dance to in our day.

MR. LESTER: I never did like dancing.

MISS SPEEDWELL: You’ve never been dancing?

MR. LESTER: I didn’t say that.

MISS SPEEDWELL: I know, but have you ever been dancing?

MR. LESTER: I don’t see why it matters.

MISS SPEEDWELL: I just asked a simple question: have you ever been to a dance?

MR. LESTER: No.

MISS SPEEDWELL: Never?

MR. LESTER: I don’t see what the big deal is. Now look – they’re blocking the view of the punch bowl.

MISS SPEEDWELL: They’re just lining up for a drink. Relax.

MR. LESTER: Or crowding around it so they can spike it.

MISS SPEEDWELL (toying with him): Do you really think so?

MR. LESTER: Oh, I’m sure of it. I’ve got some of those boys in class and I know they’re up to no good.

MISS SPEEDWELL (she motions for him to join her): Come on.

MR. LESTER: Where are you going?

MISS SPEEDWELL: I’m going out on the dance floor.

MR. LESTER: But why? To check on the punch bowl?

MISS SPEEDWELL: To dance, why else? . . . Come on . . .

(She reaches out for his hand.)

MR. LESTER: Oh no, not me. Not me. I told you, I don’t dance.

MISS SPEEDWELL: I don’t dance, either, but come on. It’ll be fun.

MR. LESTER: I don’t see what’s fun about it.

MISS SPEEDWELL: Come on, just this one time.

MR. LESTER: But people will stare. They’ll laugh at us. They’ll laugh at me.

MISS SPEEDWELL: The kids? They’re too busy with each other to pay attention to a bunch of old teachers.

MR. LESTER: Well, I don’t know – I can’t dance to all that hippy-hop music.

MISS SPEEDWELL: Listen. They’re getting ready to play a slow one. You can dance to that.

MR. LESTER: A slow one? Oh no no no!

MISS SPEEDWELL: Come on, the lights are down. No one will see.

MR. LESTER: Well, I, I don’t know. Wait a minute – the punch bowl! If the lights are down, somebody might –

MISS SPEEDWELL: All the more reason then. If we’re dancing, you can get a closer look at the punch bowl that way. OK?

MR. LESTER: Well, OK. But just this one song . . .

(He takes her hand and they exit to the dance floor.)

------- THE END ----------

Cast of two – one male, one female

Mr. Lester, a male chaperone at the prom

Miss Speedwell, his female counterpart

Set: A table and chairs

Dwayne Yancey

1791 Mount Pleasant Church Road

Fincastle, VA 24090

Days: 540 981 3113

Nights: 540 473 3313

Website: www.storyfoundry.com, search under "playwrights"