Adventures of White Power Steve, the hate-filled white seperatist who couldnt get anything right
(as scene comes up, WP Steve and others are sitting in a classroom. Teacher is standing in front of blackboard writing down formulas)
Teacher: And who can tell us the second law of thermodynamics? (all raise their hands expectantly like they know the answer) Lets see...ah, White Power Steve. Tell us all the second law of thermodynamics.
WP Steve: The second law of thermodynamics states that the entropy of a perfect crystal of an element at the absolute zero of temperature is zero.
Teacher: Wrong again, Steve. Thats the third law of dynamics! Can anyone tell us the SECOND law?
Ricky: Its very simple. The second law holds that energy spontaneously tends to flow only from being concentrated in one place to becoming diffused or dispersed. (looks over at WP Steve and sticks his toungue out at him)
Teacher: Very good Ricky. You know, White Power Steve, you could learn alot from Rickys example. (bell rings students begni to file out, snickering and pointing at WP Steve) Well, theres the bell. Remember everyone, pages 35 and 36, all problems up through 35a are due tommorow. And pay close attention to the readings, especially you White Power Steve.
WP Steve: (to Johnny) Geez, I cant ever seem to get anything right.
Johnny: Aw shucks, its ok White Power Steve, nobodys as smart as Ricky.
WP Seve: I know that. Its just that everyone makes fun of me just because Im not very smart. And because Im a hate-filled white seperatist.
Johnny: Aww, you just give it some time champ! Theyll come along to your winning personality sooner or later--hate-filled white sepratist or not!
WP Steve: Youre right! Now come on over to my house. My moms making Stove Top tonight!
Johnny: My moms making Stove Top, too!
WP Steve: Awesome! Lets go!
(lights out as table is set up and Mom sits at table. Lights up. WP Steve and Johnny enter)
Mom: Well, hello there Johnathon! I didnt know you were coming over for dinner?
Johnny: Yeah, I hope its ok. My moms not nearly as good a cook as you are.
Mom: Oh, that must be because shes dating that darky!
(Johnny looks emberrassed, as does WP Steve)
WP Steve: Mom!
Mom: What honey?
WP Steve: Johnny believes intolerance and equality.
Mom: (now quite emberrassed) Well, Im sorry Johnny. I didnt know you were like that.
Johnny: Its ok, Misses K.
WP Steve: See mom, this is why all the kids at school dont like me!
Mom: Why is that, Steven?
WP Steve: All the kids make fun of me because our family is all hate-filled white supremacists.
Johnny: Its true, Misses K. They always call him "White Power Steve, the kid whos too ignorant to see that race is a meaningless social concept."
Mom: Oh, Steven, Im so sorry. (rushes over to hug WP Steve) I know its tough to be different. The kids all used to make fun of me, too.
WP Steve: (sniffiling, as if hes been crying) Really ma?
Mom: Oh sure. They used to all point at me and say "If you hate the enlightenednorthern east coast so much, why dont you move to the South?"
WP Steve: No!
Mom: Its true. I used to run home crying everyday from school.
WP Steve: Gosh ma, howd you deal with it?
Mom: Well, Steven, you just have to realize that people fear what they dont understand. Just because were different doesnt mean were worse people. You just go on being the best hate-filled white seperatist you can be, and someday everyone will appreciate you for the wonderful person you are.
Johnny: Gosh, White Power Steve, you have the greatest family in the whole wide world.
WP Steve: Aint that the truth!
Announcer: (from offstage) That does it for this weeks episode of "The Adventures of White Power Steve, the hate-filled white seperatist who couldnt get anything right". Join us next week for a very special episode as White Power Steve learns the meaning of loss, when one of the vicious gaurd dogs surrounding his familys remote mountain bunker is accidentally shot by an FBI sniper. Thank you.THIS SCRIPT IS COPYRIGHTED MATERIAL AND MAY NOT BE DOWNLOADED, TRANSMITTED, PRINTED OR PERFORMED WITHOUT THE EXPRESS PERMISSION OF THE AUTHOR
Performed by John Michael Rohret, Luke Pingel, Andy Shcroeder, Tim Pieper, Jesse Wozniak, Sara Gronstal.