By Justin Wolf
Hi! My name is Robin, and I'd like to ask you...Are you feeling low? Yeah?
Life got you down? Can't keep up with those car payments? Not sure your wife
loves you anymore? That's great because I'm here today to tell you about an
amazing program that saved my life. Yes, that's right folks, saved my life.
Life...Saved. Did it save my life? Yes, it saved my life...First I'd like to
tell you a little story though...I was down. I was associating myself with the
devil. The devils company. Company of the devil. I was doing...The pot. I was
smoking...the grass. The weed. The marijuana. I had holes in my clothes, I had
knots in my hair, I didn't pay my bills and I really didn't care. HA! Yes,
yes...I was bad. As they might say in my former social circle "bad to the
bone". Yes, yes...I was bad, and I just kept getting worse! Until, eventually,
it pinnacled...It got here. Used to be here, then it was here. That's how bad.
So I had to re-examine my life...Re-examine it. Think it over a few times.
Turn it around in my head. I was wandering the streets doing this
re-examination when all of the sudden it dawned on me...Do you know what
dawned on me folks? Do you? How about you? Do you? (whispers in ear) Well,
let me just say that's not what dawned upon me...ok. The light of god! Yes,
that's right, the light of god dawned upon me! And...I was very close to being
saved. Very close. You know how I was here...Well, now I was (stumbles up and
down with hand)...Much better. But not good enough! The light of the lord made
me ask myself some question's...Some serious questions that my former punk
self would not have asked. Do you want to know what those questions were? Do
you? You do? OK! I said to myself, I said "Robin, what are you doing in
those clothes?" HA! That was the first question, and the second was "Robin,
what are you giving back to the community?" "What are you returning...What are
you assimilating and then composting back into the world?" These were the
question's...Very tough questions indeed. And my answer was even worse. My
answer was nothing. I wasn't giving back. I was a taker...Not a giver. And so
with his fact in the open, I knew what I needed to do. I needed to find an
organization to help me creatively spread the word of the lord...the light of
god, effectively to his children. And then I found the organization that
saved my life! Yes sir, I found Joggers For Jesus, the only organization
next to the church itself that spreads the word of the lord so effectively,
and so charismatically. AND, as many of its members will tell you...So
athletically. Jesus Christ's children have never been so buff in all their
lives, so please! Call 1-900-JC4MENU...Kind of looks like JC 4 MENU, and ask
us about our amazing program that is saving lives! The lord is proud of us
He is! He is looking down on us and smiling at us, probably thinking, "If I
wasn't the mighty god himself, I might just join Ôem!" So, for your souls
sake, call now!
"TV For Sinners (Public Service announcement #1)"
IS COPYRIGHTED MATERIAL AND MAY NOT BE DOWNLOADED, TRANSMITTED,
PRINTED OR PERFORMED WITHOUT THE EXPRESS PERMISSION OF THE
AUTHOR
"TV For Sinners (Public Service announcement #1)" debuted October 12, 2001, performed by Justin Wolf.Performed at Best of No Shame on November 15 & 16, 2001.