copyright © 2001 Justin Wolf

TV For Sinners (Public Service announcement #1)

By Justin Wolf

Hi! My name is Robin, and I'd like to ask you...Are you feeling low? Yeah? Life got you down? Can't keep up with those car payments? Not sure your wife loves you anymore? That's great because I'm here today to tell you about an amazing program that saved my life. Yes, that's right folks, saved my life. Life...Saved. Did it save my life? Yes, it saved my life...First I'd like to tell you a little story though...I was down. I was associating myself with the devil. The devils company. Company of the devil. I was doing...The pot. I was smoking...the grass. The weed. The marijuana. I had holes in my clothes, I had knots in my hair, I didn't pay my bills and I really didn't care. HA! Yes, yes...I was bad. As they might say in my former social circle "bad to the bone". Yes, yes...I was bad, and I just kept getting worse! Until, eventually, it pinnacled...It got here. Used to be here, then it was here. That's how bad. So I had to re-examine my life...Re-examine it. Think it over a few times. Turn it around in my head. I was wandering the streets doing this re-examination when all of the sudden it dawned on me...Do you know what dawned on me folks? Do you? How about you? Do you? (whispers in ear) Well, let me just say that's not what dawned upon me...ok. The light of god! Yes, that's right, the light of god dawned upon me! And...I was very close to being saved. Very close. You know how I was here...Well, now I was (stumbles up and down with hand)...Much better. But not good enough! The light of the lord made me ask myself some question's...Some serious questions that my former punk self would not have asked. Do you want to know what those questions were? Do you? You do? OK! I said to myself, I said "Robin, what are you doing in those clothes?" HA! That was the first question, and the second was "Robin, what are you giving back to the community?" "What are you returning...What are you assimilating and then composting back into the world?" These were the question's...Very tough questions indeed. And my answer was even worse. My answer was nothing. I wasn't giving back. I was a taker...Not a giver. And so with his fact in the open, I knew what I needed to do. I needed to find an organization to help me creatively spread the word of the lord...the light of god, effectively to his children. And then I found the organization that saved my life! Yes sir, I found Joggers For Jesus, the only organization next to the church itself that spreads the word of the lord so effectively, and so charismatically. AND, as many of its members will tell you...So athletically. Jesus Christ's children have never been so buff in all their lives, so please! Call 1-900-JC4MENU...Kind of looks like JC 4 MENU, and ask us about our amazing program that is saving lives! The lord is proud of us He is! He is looking down on us and smiling at us, probably thinking, "If I wasn't the mighty god himself, I might just join ‘em!" So, for your souls sake, call now!

"TV For Sinners (Public Service announcement #1)" debuted October 12, 2001, performed by Justin Wolf.

Performed at Best of No Shame on November 15 & 16, 2001.

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