"My God"
            By, Dave Ulrich

                                        Lights up.

                                        MICHELLE sits in a chair center stage.

                                   MICHELLE
            This woman at work -- one of those sickly sweet ones. Always
            positive. She tells me in confidence today... She says: "You
            know, you can rarely have the three aspects in your life all
            in alignment. Remember, two out of three ain't bad."

                                        MICHELLE makes a face.

                                   MICHELLE
            She further explained that the three things are your career,
            your love life, and your living situation. So I examined them
            for me. Each of them. My career? Well, let's see, I'm
            expected to sell off most of the hours of my life to be
            abused by some boy's club that wants to fuck me, or fuck me?
            Yeah. I'll put that down as misaligned. My love life? I don't
            get a lot of warmth wrapping my arms around my couch throw
            pillow and my VCR. So no. My living situation? Let's see, I
            work tirelessly just to afford living alone so I'll never
            have another roommate who thinks playing with her 80 pound
            dog in the nude is something I care to witness. So I'm
            misaligned on all counts. And what did Miss Positive tell me
            to do? Pray. That's right. She actually suggested that I
            pray. Easy for her to say, she's obviously got a God. I, on
            the other hand, do not.
                          (pause)
            No wait. That's not true.
                          (a beat)
            Yes. Yes I do have one. Fried chicken. Fried chicken is my
            God. It's delicious, delightful and it moves me. Tastes good,
            it's satisfying and it brings me peace. And isn't that a
            God's duty? Bring peace and satisfaction? Leave a good taste
            in your mouth? Fire and brimstone or fried chicken? I'll take
            fried chicken every time.
                          (a beat)
            And corn up Miss Positive's cob.

                                        Blackout.
            THE END

"My God" debuted January 10, 2003 with the following cast:

MICHELLE - Michelle Garb

[Back to Library]