WWOD #1

A man rushes on stage in full business attire carrying a drawer full of socks. He is barefoot. He rifles through the socks; it becomes apparent that there are no matching pairs. He looks at his watch. Rifles through again. He finds two socks that could possibly pass for matching but do not actually match. He produces a primal scream. He is for a moment unnaturally still. His eyes suddenly dart to the far corners of the room.

He looks behind himself. He reaches to the bottom of the drawer and pulls out a candle, matches, and a photograph of Oprah Winfrey. He lights the candle and sets it on the floor. He places the photo beside it. He assumes some posture of meditation, eyes fixed on the candle.

Man: (inhales) Wuuuuuuuuuh (exhales)6x

(chants, ad nauseum) What would Oprah do

Opens eyes and smiles beatifically. Rises and puts on almost matching socks, still smiling. Disassembles shrine and picks up drawer. Extends a smile of love and benediction over the whole of the audience. Exit.