"I Buy You Books and I Buy You Books, But All You Do is Eat the Pages"

Written by Paul Rust (as Robert Sondag)

LIGHTS UP. NEIL ARMSTRONG and DONALD SUTHERLAND are onstage.

NEIL: Oh, Donald, how could you do it?

DONALD: I’m sorry. I was just assuming ---

NEIL: Well, you know what happens when you’re assuming, don’t you? You make an "ass" out of you and… "ming?"

MING (Steve Heuertz as an Asian-man) enters. Yes, he has a cymbal on his head.

MING: Awww, why you always makin’ fun of Ming?

BLACKOUT.

THIS SCRIPT IS COPYRIGHTED MATERIAL AND MAY NOT BE DOWNLOADED, TRANSMITTED, PRINTED OR PERFORMED WITHOUT THE EXPRESS PERMISSION OF THE AUTHOR

AUTHOR'S NOTES:
the piece was originally performed on friday, march 7th. it's listed as "5. Paul - what?" in the order. what happened was... there was a gap where a performer wasn't ready, so i grabbed a .5 i had with me and performed it. it was never in the original order. however, people liked it and it made it into best of. that's the story!

March 7, 2003 - No Shame Iowa City

Performed by Paul Rust, Rick Herbst, and Steve Heuertz

May 9, 2003 - Best of No Shame (Iowa City)

Performed by Rick Herbst, Steve Heuertz, and Paul Rust

[Paul Rust's web site]

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