copyright © 2006 Alisa Rosenthal

Sneeze Etiquette

by Alisa Rosenthal

Lights up. A and B are looking through movies.

A: (sneezes)

B: Bless you.

A: Thanks.

B: Don’t mention it.

A: I appreciate it.

B: No really, it’s cool.

A: You’re the best.

B: It’s no biggie.

A: (goes to hug B)

B: Drop it.

A: (sneezes)

B: Bless you.

A: Thanks.

B: You’re welcome.

A: That was nice of you.

B: Thanks.

A: You’re welcome.

A: (sneezes)

B: Bless you.

A: Thank you.

B: (tries not to say anything)

A: (clearly offended)

B: (really fighting back an urge)

A: (doesn’t understand! Is fighting back tears!)

B: (is about to blurt out a response but swallows it, and smiles in satisfaction)

A: (is scared and confused.)

B: (sneezes)

A: (silent and bitter)

B: (feels the need to fill the silence) Bless you.

A: (silence)

B: ...Thanks.

A: (silence)

B: ...Don’t...mention...it...

A: (silence)

B: (hugs A)

Lights down.

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