FULL BODY MAKE-UP
by Brian E. Rochlin
(Dick Slate sits at the edge of a bed, wearing a T-shirt and underwear. Through the scene, he gets dressed, pulling on his pants, socks, tying his sneakers, etc.)
There are some things you cant tell just by looking at someone. Like I didnt expect it, but you were great, baby. Really great. And I should know.
I just want to be honest here. You know, not go leading you on or nothing. I figured you knew this was a one-time thing, but I just want to be sure. So theres no hard feelings or anything.
I mean, you dont really want a relationship with a porn star, anyway. Right?
Cmon. You didnt know?
Well, I dont watch that stuff either. I just work in the field.
You mean, you couldnt tell by the size of my . Or the full body makeup? Sorry again about the blouse. Im sure your dry cleaner can get it out.
I guess if you didnt know who I was how could you tell just by looking at me that I have a 12" dick. So what was it? What made you decide to take me home? Sure, its not unusual for me to have one of these one night things, but always its been because Im a star.
No, Im not saying that to brag, its just that in the biz, Im kinda the go-to guy. More than 750 films in the past three years, and in some Ive been asked to perform several times. Plus, with all my recreational sex, Im at my dicks end.
No, thats what makes you special, baby. Lets just say I dont need to get laid. Youre one in a hundred. One in 750.
Im sorry, baby. I didnt mean it that way. Its that I get to sleep with the most beautiful women in the world, the best fucks on the planet, and I chose you. I mean, to me, you were more beautiful than any woman on earth last night.
I dont do this too often. I try to keep my private life as it is private. Its just there are risks involved. All sorts of risks. My parents dont know what I do, but Im sure their neighbors do. Ive seen the way they look at me as Im walking up my folks front steps. The way they whisper and stare. But theyre not going to say anything because the "How would you know?" question comes right into play.
Its ridiculous. After all, the industry is bigger than Hollywood. Theres only a few fewer viewers, but lots of repeat business kinda makes up for it. What I do is legit. But still, I have to keep it from my folks. Theyre religious folk, if you know what I mean.
So I lie to them, which, when you think about it, is really much better. This secrecy, it keeps me modest. Like, I do all my own makeup, maybe get a little help with my hair. I always say "please" and "thank you."
Sure, maybe its a little ridiculous. After anally reaming 18-year-old Tanya, to say, "Hey, you were great. Thank you." Um, by the way Thank you.
I get concerned about these young kids though. I think theyre too young to realize the risk of what theyre doing. Ive seen more women lose their sense of self and fall prey to the wild parties and drugs and all. And some producers, they just keep demanding more and more. Like "Im sorry, but can we put two dicks in your ass while youre giving a blowjob to this guy while hes taking a shit."
I apologize. I guess I sometimes dont realize how I talk. Youre around it enough, you forget. Living on the edge like this all the time, I maybe have lost some of that sense.
I want to stop, but Ive got to make a living, and really this is all Im good at. God blessed me with a gift, and I feel obligated to use it. But its nice to spend a night with someone real, even if its just one night.
I only have a few more years before my dick wont stand up on command. And I need to work as much as I can until then. So, I really dont have time for a relationship. Besides, you dont want to be with me. Im really not that good a guy.
(He takes off his pajama top to put on his shirt. He is covered in purple lesions.)
After all, theres a lot you cant tell just by looking at someone. And when you pick someone up at a bar, youve gotta know the risks.
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Performed by Rob White