B-Big B-Baby B-Boy at the B-Bus Stop

by Brian E. Rochlin

SATCH WHITE STANDS AT A BUS STOP, READING A NEWSPAPER WHILE WAITING FOR THE BUS. BABY BOY, DRESSED IN SHORTS, WHITE SOCKS, BLACK SHOES, A SHORT SLEEVE BUTTON DOWN SHIRT AND A SHORT TIE, WADDLES IN AND UP TO SATCH WHITE.

BABY BOY

(in a babyish high pitched voice) Hi there, mister. Hi there.

SATCH WHITE

(in a Barry White/Satchmo Voice) Hey there, big man. What’s the story?

BABY BOY

I’m B-Big B-B-Baby B-Boy.

SATCH WHITE

Whas that?

BABY BOY

I’m B-Big B-B-Baby B-Boy.

SATCH WHITE

Of course you are.

BABY BOY

No, silly, that’s my name.

SATCH WHITE

Fo’ real? (Baby Boy nods) Wow, I never heard that one before. Not on a big ‘un like you.

BABY BOY

You’re so funny! Ha ha. Ha ha. Ha.

SATCH WHITE

(uncomfortable)

Gee, thanks b-big b-baby b-boy.

BABY BOY

Whatcha readin’?

SATCH WHITE

The newspaper?

BABY BOY

Ha ha. Ha ha. Ha. You’re so Funny. Do you like me?

SATCH WHITE

Well....sure I do. I like you just fine.

BABY BOY

You’re the b-best.

SATCH WHITE

No, you’re the best.

BABY BOY

No. You’re the b-best.

SATCH WHITE

I swear, it’s you.

BABY BOY

No, no, no. You’re the best.

SATCH WHITE

Nuh-uh. You, b-big b-baby b-boy are the best

BABY BOY

You’re the best

SATCH WHITE

You are

BABY BOY

No, you

SATCH WHITE

You

BABY BOY

You

SATCH WHITE

You

BABY BOY

(truly menacing/threatening) It’s you, motherfucker, and if you say it’s me again, I’ll tear your fucking head off and crap in your decapitated ear. (shoves him into a wall) OK, B-B-B-Bitch?

SATCH WHITE

Uh....OK.

BABY BOY

O.K. What?

SATCH WHITE

OK, B-Big B-Baby B-Boy.

BABY BOY

Damn right. (beat) Right-O. (beat) You got it right. Ha-ha. (pause, in baby voice again) You’re the b-b-best. Ha-ha ha ha.

BABY BOY smiles at Satch White.

BLACKOUT

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