copyright © 2003 Todd Ristau

A Higher Standard.

by Todd Ristau

(lights up on two men sitting at a bar, beers in hand.)

One: I heard on the radio today that 80% of Americans are behind the President and the Troops in the war against Saddam Hussein.

Two: Huh.

One: Eighty percent love their country, and 20% hate their country.

Two: No shit?

One: I blame Clinton.

Two: How you figure?

One: Anything that is fucked up with this country is because of that son of a bitch.

Two: Well, I can't really argue with you.

One: The only people who would argue with that haven't got the brains it takes to drop their pants before they take a shit.

Two: The thing is, most people don't even know how bad Clinton really was.

One: Well, I know he was pretty goddam bad.

Two: Yeah, but you'll never know for sure how bad he really was because when he took office he made it possible to seal his presidential nobody can find out anything about stuff that was really really really bad.

One: No shit? He got away with that?

Two: Absolutely. Executive Order 13233.

One: Sneaky son of a bitch. The whole point of a democracy is to keep checks and balances on the President!

Two: I know....but he got it through and there isn't anything we can do about it.

One: Son of a Bitch.

Two: That's not all. Did you know his family used to do business with the Nazis?

One: Get out.

Two: No kidding. He kept it quiet, but his Dad's father ran three or four companies in the forties that the US government shut down because they were front organizations for the Nazis.

One: You mean Clinton's family was in bed with Hitler?

Two: Dealt directly with him until the US froze their assets.

One: Jesus Christ! And we let someone like that get elected President of the United States???

Two: Twice.

One: Don't fucking remind me....TWICE!

Two: That's not all.

One: You're busting my balls here.

Two: It gets fucking insidious...and people didn't even care! They fucking loved the guy.

One: Only the fucking 20% that hate this country.

Two: Seems like a lot more than 20% to me, but the problem is they don't know the truth about him.

One: Ok, (takes a drink) I'm ready...What else?

Two: What would you say if I told you Clinton actually told the FBI to "back off" in their investigations of the bin Laden Family before 9-11?

One: You gotta be shitting me.

Two: Not at all. Can we say "obstruction of justice" and "misuse of power?" Maybe if he'd have let the FBI do their job we could have prevented September 11th.

One: I know he hates this country, but does he hate it that much?

Two: It's all about money, and what the people will let you get away with. He himself, personally, had business dealings with Osama bin Laden's brother, for crying out loud! Salem bin Laden put up the money to start Clinton's first company. This fucking guy, has financial connections to a lot of shady Saudi businessmen who get their money from drug cartels, gun running, and terorism.

One: Holy fucking shit! That makes Whitewater look like cheating at tiddlywinks! We spent all that money on Ken Starr and he overlooks something this big? How come none of that came out in the investigation?

Two: Because it wasn't a real estate was oil.

One: Oil? Clinton isn't an oil man.

Two: Exactly.

One: (pause) Clinton didn't do them things, did he?

Two: Nope.

One: Bush did them things?

Two: Yup.

One: What did Clinton do?

Two: Lied about having consensual sex outside of wedlock behind locked doors and in private.

One: (pause) Well, that's what I'm saying. We need to hold a President to a higher standard.

Two: (takes a long drink as lights fade) No. That's what I'm saying.



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