November 10, 2002:

Jeff:

All right, folks, brief round table discussion. topic: What does the show need now?

Amy:

More women! I love men, don't get me wrong. But Rileigh was singing something in the bathroom stall the other day that I thought would be a great juxtoposition to what we've seen in the show so far. It went like this, "We are two girls...with vagiiiinas, we are two girls..." and she added a little butt dance that really made the thing work.

Two Girls wth Vaginas

by Rileigh Elizabeth Pot

& company

(Two Girls sing this song:)

We are two girls
with vagiiiiiinas
We are two girls
with Vagiiiiiinas

We are two girls.
With Va-gi-nas.
We are two girls.
With Va-gi-nas.

We are two girls.
That's what we are.
And we can be.
A movie star.

(They strut around like glamorous movie stars getting their pictures taken.)

Oooooooh.

We are two girls
with vagiiiiiinas
We are two girls.
With Va-gi-nas.

We are two girls.
And so are you!

(They each point at a woman in the audience.)

So sing along.
Do what we do.

(They sing and dance and prance around happily.)

We are two girls
with vagiiiiiinas
We are two girls
with Vagiiiiiinas

(Bridge:)

I think that I shall never see
A poem as lovelier than me.
As lovely as a poem can be
It cannot top my bottom. See?

(They wiggle their patoots at the audience, singing:)

We are two girls
with vagiiiiiinas
We are two girls
with Vagiiiiiinas

(Music shifts. They suddenly turn into bad-ass rap stars.)

Yo, yo, yo, Missy V is inna house.

An' Missy T is inna blouse.
That's right, that's right, check it out, check it out now:

I'm sicka these pricks stickin' chicks with their dicks.
Like his thing gets a tan and - kaching - he's a man.
So kiss this, if you're listening. Go piss in a pot.
You know what you're not, if you don't got a twat.

Yer not two girls.
With vagiiiiiinas.
Yer not two girls
with va-gi-nas.

We are two girls.
With vagiiiiiinas.
We are two girls
with va-gi-nas.
Cuz it DON'T! mean a THANG! if you DANGLE! and HANG! Word.

(End of song.)

(The backup singer is caught up in the music and keeps singing:)

We are two girls. With vagiiiiiinas...

(He sees them glaring at him and stops.)

Sorry.

(BLACKOUT)
"Two Girls wth Vaginas" IS COPYRIGHTED MATERIAL AND MAY NOT BE DOWNLOADED, TRANSMITTED, PRINTED OR PERFORMED WITHOUT THE EXPRESS PERMISSION OF THE AUTHOR

"Two Girls wth Vaginas" debuted December 13, 2002, performed by Tory Seiter, Donna Janosik, Dave Giuli, Jonathan Price; directed by Amy Lynn Pigott.

Performed at Best of No Shame (Los Angeles) March 27th, April 4th & 5th, 2003. Directed by Amy Lynn Pigott, with the following cast: Tory Seiter, Donna Janosik, Jonathan Price [piano].

This is every piece I've ever written

[Back to

Library]