Set 1

1. Touch as many ears as possible.
2. Become your first pet.
3. "Fuck theater. Fuck people who go to theater. Fuck performance. Fuck people who don’t appreciate performance. Fuck language. Fuck life. Fuck the off-hand remarks before and after theater. Fuck heaven. Fuck hell. Fuck the power-scheme of me. Fuck feminist interpretation. Fuck right-wing assumptions. Fuck danger. Fuck health. Fuck smokers. Fuck saints. Fuck the ignition. Fuck the breaks. Fuck the last person you talked to. Fuck earth. Fuck sun. Fuck the Van Allen Belt. Fuck reading. Fuck noise. Fuck noise. Fuck noise." [Repeat "fuck noise."]
4. Represent the after-life.
5. Sit down with one member of the audience and convince them that all oceans are landlocked.

Set 2

1. "I won the poetry award in college. I made heaven. I have a car with wheels that will never pop. I just win. I will hold it against you. I just win. When I watch television I learn things. Other people are rotting. I make insights. I gather and earn. I’ve never been that wrong. I confuse myself more often than others. I love Radiohead. I love Van Halen. I absorb. I have been on dates. I have light in my closet. I have a health plan. I will marry before I’m 30. I absorb. I absorb. I absorb. [Repeat "I absorb."]
2. Count your breaths out loud.
3. Think out loud.
4. Sing the last song you heard on the radio.
5. Touch as many strands of human hair as possible.

Set 3

1. Flip a coin and give results out loud.
2. Touch as many legs as possible.
3. Sit next to an audience member and count to one million out loud.
4. Act dead.
5. "Carnage. Rebirth. Defenestration. Karma. Orthography. Palindrome. Difficulty. Space. Wind. Tree. Bird. Wholesome. Falling. Chromosome. Prophylactic. Booze. Cherry. Pomegranate. Difficulty. Hymen. Anterior. Salty. Burn. Trauma. Hospital. Glandular. Saga. Epic. Divorce. Jump. Kill. Mate. Love. Drama. Sonnet. Sestina. Bastard. Warmth. Beneath. Valedictorian. Attitude. Caliper. Sauna. Porn. Guessing. Breathing. Trial. Letter. Envelope. Envelope. Envelope." [Repeat "Envelope."]