copyright © 1998 Chris Okiishi & Adam Burton

"THE MOMENT" IS COPYRIGHTED MATERIAL AND MAY NOT BE DOWNLOADED, TRANSMITTED, PRINTED OR PERFORMED WITHOUT THE EXPRESS PERMISSION OF THE AUTHOR

THE MOMENT

by Chris Okiishi and Adam Burton

3/27/98

[JOHN sitting on bench centerstage reading newspaper. MIKE enters and sits close beside him. MIKE looks at JOHN for a while. JOHN slowly becomes aware, attempts to ignore, finally turns hesitantly to face him.]

MIKE: Hello!

JOHN: Hi.

[Pause.]

MIKE: Hello!

JOHN: ...hi.

MIKE (erupting): God, I LOVE how you do that!!

JOHN (bewildered): Do what?

MIKE: Like, when I say "hi," you say "hi," like we're just so, right there.

JOHN (uncertainly): Oh...

MIKE: Don't you just love this part, you know, the way you can't wait to find out the next thing about the other person....?

JOHN: What are you talking about?

MIKE: I love that about you, you're so inquisitive!

JOHN: I am? ...er... yeah. Whatever.

MIKE: And then there's that whole part where you can fantasize about who you think the other person really is before you know for sure, like, I bet your name is something majestic like Leonardo, or, or--Magellan!

JOHN: It's John.

MIKE: And mine's Mike! Isn't that perfect? Mike and John, John and Mike, easy on invitations, his-and-his towels...

JOHN: Restraining orders?

MIKE: Oh God, you're so funny!! But disclosure is also an important part of a relationship. Like I feel that I should tell you that I'm a strict vegetarian, although for you I'd make an exception... I like starfish, blenders, and those beautiful nights when the smog takes on an iridescent glow on the horizon. What do you like?

JOHN: Well... I'm generally a private person... but, I, uh, I do like cats...

MIKE: Oh my GOD, I can't believe you like those revolting house parasites. [Gasps] Oh I can't believe I said that. [very seriously, takes JOHN's hands in his own.] I am SO SORRY.

JOHN (pulling hands away): It's okay, really...

[MIKE spins around and plops head in JOHN's lap. Looks up at him.]

MIKE: Whew! I'm glad that's over. You know, I really think this has brought us closer as a couple.

JOHN (standing, dropping MIKE): Look, I hate to tell you this but we're NOT a couple. I don't even know you, and I can't say I'd want to..

[MIKE sits up, stares in shock for a moment, and then begins.]

MIKE: I can't believe you could be so cruel. Here we were having a lovely time together. I was getting to know you, you were getting to know me... Look, I'm not stupid. I know we don't know each other well but I was beginning to feel a real connection to you. Who knows, John, I could be the thing you've been looking for your whole life. I could be the key to your happiness. I could be the one person that would truly understand all the deep dark corners of your soul. And now you've thrown me away.... [breaks down in sobs.]

[JOHN sits, watching, realizes he's been harsh, seems to want to comfort MIKE, starts to reach over a couple of times, then finally sets a hand on MIKE's shoulder.]

JOHN: Hey now, it'll be alright... It's okay... Don't cry...

MIKE (sitting upright, completely composed): Don't tell me what to do and what not to do! I'm sorry, John. Or is it Mr. John? You no longer have that power over me. This may come as a shock to you, but I've moved on.

JOHN: What? But you were just... I thought--

MIKE: Well you thought too late, John. It's past tense. Just like us. [Pause.] But don't be sad. We'll always have "hello." Vaya con dios, mi amor.

[MIKE exits quickly. JOHN looks after him, suddenly forlorn. Sits, looks lonely. NEW PERSON enters, sits next to JOHN. JOHN stares at NEW PERSON until he receives grudging acknowledgement.]

JOHN: Hello!

NEW PERSON (guarded): Hi...

BLACKOUT.

"The Moment" debuted March 27, 1998, performed by Chris Okiishi and Adam Burton.

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