The Lights Came Up

Monologue

By Sean Nitchmann

 

 

>>Lights up

 

 

The lights came up.

They stared at him. Puzzled but intrigued.

A couple of people laugh quietly to themselves.

Her eyes move towards the ceiling. She was looking at nothing but now was fully aware that she was looking at nothing and thinking does that mean I’m looking at something?

He smiled just a little.

He looked over at the girl in the second row. Hmmm … he thought.

She shifts her weight in her chair. It makes a noise. She wonders if anyone knew it was her and if they’re going to think she’s too large and causing chairs to strain beneath her girth.

She wonders if he’s talking about her. Humph … He’s no tinker bell himself.

Oh I get it, he thinks to himself.

Someone clears their throat quietly.

Someone else takes another swig of their beer.

She has gas and strains to contain her flatulence.

They nervously snicker.

He thinks to himself, fart humor always gets a reaction. However, I would never resort to fart humor, it’s so lame.

He says out loud, I simply mentioned it, you were the one who laughed. Who’s really to blame for this situation?

She wonders if this is going to go on much longer.

She thinks to herself, that guy’s really hot, I could rock his world. I bet he’s a sex machine.

Yeah right, she says to herself. That’s a really cheap ploy. Is that all men think about?

Someone sighs.

I am a sex machine. No, really, I am. He say’s out loud.

Oh here we go again, she thinks to herself. Some doofus making reference to his sexual prowess in front of an audience. Wow, so original. Can’t these guys come up with anything more complex than that?

He checks his timer.

Someone takes another swig of beer

My cat is probably missing me, she thinks to herself.

He’s thinking, I hope he makes another fart joke, this is getting dull.

He checks his timer again.

They yearn to be happier.

She lost her place.

Shit, where is he.

Oh, there it is. Oops.

 

>>Lights Down Quick

 

The lights came down.