Egga and Ferd's Scavenger Hunt #1
by Brett Neveu

copyright © 1991


(lights up. EGGA is running in place center stage towards the audience.)

      ANNOUNCER
Who is this Person? What is this situation? Why is the thing happening happening? Hmmmmmmmmmm. All of these questions will be answered when we enter the epic tale of---- EGGA and FERD's Scavenger HUNT!! Part 1---The Chance Meeting and what it meant....................

      EGGA
Oh ohoohohhhohhh! I have to find so many things! Let me check the list again. (takes out list) Hmmmmm. Number one. Purple Pancake Pie!! Number two. Hunan Rock Chicken Chow Souie!! Ohhhh!!
(stops running)
Poopie poopie poo!! My name is EGGA. You all out sitting out there looking at me there must think, "Oh a little scavenger hunt! I remember when I was in one of those things and we had to find a two by four and a pet rock and a bucket of grapes." Yah. How wonderful.
How hard. But that was not what this is. That is not what this is at all. Far from it. This is......This is a SCAVENGER HUNT TO SAVE THE WORLD!!!!!!! You see, I was given this list of scavenger by an ancient creature called the hullafingafoouinghungareewquiedfa, and then----

(enter FERD with piano)(He plays it alla time)

      FERD
Hey there! Whatcha doin?

      EGGA
Who are you? And what is that?

      FERD
My name is FERD. This is a piano. I play it alla time. Weeeeeeeeee.

      EGGA
Well, I have no time for that. I've got to complete this here hunt for many various objects or the world will be destroyed!!

      FERD
Yow! This is serious! I have had to do that before, and let me tell you, it's pretty serious.

      EGGA
Great! My name is EGGA! You can help me!

      FERD
You bet!

      EGGA
Lets go!

      FERD
Okay!

(EGGA and FERD run in place out towards the audience.)
(FERD plays the running music)

      EGGA
Hey! The Arabian desert!! Lets see if we can find anything there!

      FERD
And how!
(they stop and ask SHEIK POIDA some questions!!)

      EGGA
Hey there!! Old man of the windy windy windy desert and rocks!!

      FERD
Yeah! You!!

      SHEIK POIDA
What do you want. I am a lowly sheik and stuff. SHEIK POIDA is my name. Leave me alone so I can ponder.

      EGGA
Do you know where we can find (consults list) Item #3---A Golfing Tugga Snugga Flu Boat Raft???

      FERD
Seen one? Aye? Have Ya?

      SHEIK POIDA
I........I.......Um, no, I have never seen one of those. Not even behind that rock there.

      EGGA
Liar!! I have encountered deception before!! I will check behind the rock!!

      FERD
You know, IT COULD BE A TRAP. I have seen those, too. Those hurt.

      EGGA
Ah ha!! It's AHHHHHHHHHHHHHA (general wigging out all over the place)

      FERD
WHAT? NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO (general wigging out w/ piano)

      SHEIK POIDA
Now we have you, EGGA and FERD!!!!!! We will take you to the cave of the holder of evil! The madman! The..............

(ALL FREEZE)

      ANNOUNCER
What will happen to EGGA and FERD? Will the SCAVENGER HUNT ever be completed? WILL THE WORLD BE DESTROYED? Tune in next week and hear SHEIK POIDA say:

      SHEIK POIDA
Bacon? Did I ask for Bacon?????

      ANNOUNCER
Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha !!!!

(FERD plays end note)

      end w/ blackout......................rrrrrr
"EGGA AND FERD'S SCAVENGER HUNT #1" IS COPYRIGHTED MATERIAL AND MAY NOT BE DOWNLOADED, TRANSMITTED, PRINTED OR PERFORMED WITHOUT THE EXPRESS PERMISSION OF THE AUTHOR

"Egga and Ferd's Scavenger Hunt #1" debuted September 20, 1991.

Performed again at Best of No Shame on December 13, 1991.


[Egga and Ferd's Scavenger Hunt #1] [Egga and Ferd's Scavenger Hunt #2] [Egga and Ferd's Scavenger Hunt #3]

[Brett Neveu's Stoopid Pigeon]

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