The Orange Crush
By Cadry Nelson
(LIGHTS UP on Jay driving, empty passenger seat, and Thomas Guide in back next to Mapquest pages. Hes rocking to the music in his head, and the Thomas guide looks wistfully out the car window.)
Thomas Guide: It was all so different then, five years ago. Jay had just moved here, still naive, thirsty for all this town had to offer. He wanted to see everything, go everywhere, and he knew I could get him there. When he arrived his friends said, "Oh, Jay, youve got to get hooked up with her. You cant get by in this town without her." And so he did. He searched me out, and he found me. A smoggy spring day, I was hanging at the Wal-mart, 433 C-2, when he walked by. He saw me and that was it. I was everything hed been looking for. He grabbed me and pressed me tight against him, warm in the knowledge that I would take him places; Id make him all Angeleno. He had a business brunch? Me. Hot new club? Me. Day at the beach? All me, baby. Riding up front, pressed under his hot little hand.
I mean, of course, getting started its never easy. Someones first time, its a lot to figure out. Initially he thought I was complicated, deliciously complex. But once he learned my language, we were offSanta Monica, Redondo, Van Nuys, LBC. Wed do itfrom the 5 to 605 to the 405 and back to the 5 again. Magic. Windows down, breeze blowing through my pages, and Jay bouncing the miles away. Through the cig alerts, Cal Trans, grapevine, and out of any tight spot (snap) in a flip. Until he knew me, knew so intimately, all the right spots without even using the street guide. Rawer. Hollywood, ch. Downtown , foosh. He could flip from Venice da bah da, da bah da, to Downey. He knew me in every possible way
Until after so much time and constant companionship the best pages fell out. Theyd wind up ripped and dirty, under his seat like mangled impromptu origami, or entirely saturated, thick and dripping with mocha Frappucino. Jumping into the car in a rush, hed be on the gas and on his way, and, hed say, "Shit! Where is 633!" His frustration was clear. Id be looking guilty with a face of Frappy But what could I do? It all unraveled so easily. Why couldnt I own tape?
And then, and then I had a sense. Something was amiss. He just started ignoring me. He might reach for me, brush his digits against me out of habit, but then I was thrown in the back. The day came he couldnt have made it any clearer.
(Jay reaches in back seat. She thinks hes reaching for her. He reaches past to a Mapquest page in the backseat.)
Her love letters--next to me on the seat. He wanted me to know. "Oh, Jay, where are you going? Where are you leaving from? Whats the zip code? Tell me EVERYTHING, Jay, and Ill do ALL the work." The heartless animal. Right in front of my face. "Jay, sweetie, dont you think you might get a bit peckish on the way? What about Dennys, Jay? Or how about Barnes and Noble? Its only two blocks from your final destination." The show-off. I couldnt compete with that. Now hell only touch me under extreme circumstances and its always with disgust and regret that he forgot to contact HER before he left. He doesnt remember my pages so well anymore.
(JAYS CELL PHONE RINGS)
Jay: Hey, man. Hows it going? Oh, yeah. Just got back from Bobs House of Cars.
(Jay throws Mapquest pages into backseat; they hit T.G. in the face.)
Jay: They said I can pick it up Tuesday. Tinted windows, Bose audio, 22 inch rims. Its gonna be pimped out. And GPS, dude Its gonna be tight. You know what, I forgot my headset. Can I call you in ten? Cool. Bye.
Thomas Guide: (Holding Mapquest pages) G.P.S. How do you like them apples, bitch?
(LIGHTS DOWN)
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Cast: Cadry Nelson, Channing Work