copyright © 2002 Lee Moyer

We Interrupt the Piece Already in Progress...

By Lee Moyer (Additions and Emendations by KT and Brandon Allison)

Portland, Oregon 8/3/02

Performed in Charlottesville, Virginia 8/30/02



KT: A young woman unafraid to take the bull by the horns.

Brandon: A young man who’s world is about to be shaken (not stirred)

A Confederate: Someone who will creep into the offices and quietly phone Brandon, covering up the receiver to make sure nobody hears "the other end" of the call, and hanging up after Brandon answers.

The Audience: Unpredictable. Watch out for them.

Lighting: KT, please ask for a center spotlight, with very low lighting on the audience. Tell Ursula to go to blackout when you mention "Cigars"

When you sign up for the evening, you MIGHT mention to Clinton that your piece is a little unusual this evening. Don’t tip him off completely, but a small mention of something unusual may give you some breathing room. : )


One of KT’s journals

A cell phone "hidden" in a bag or jacket.


Fast, rehearsed and realistic.

If you are too slow, Todd or Clinton might intervene, and that would be BAD. Too unrehearsed and the crowd will get that it’s an act. So please be yourselves. If you feel I’ve given you lines that sound unnatural coming out of your mouths, please feel free to emend them in rehearsal. I think it should be quite an unprecedented scene, and a lot of good clean fun, but remember to have the courage of your convictions and don’t let anyone interrupt!

It’s up to you!

KT starts out reading from a journal (Any sort of journal piece is acceptable here, but the more involving and personal the better. Perhaps something that can be performed in its entirety at a later date).

Brandon’s cell phone rings after approximately 30 seconds (ideally in the middle of a long and intriguing passage)

KT stops reading and furrows her brow as she shields her eyes from the spotlight, and looks into the crowd to see who has the cell phone.

Brandon tries (a bit frantically, and maybe a little quiet swearing) to get to the phone,

but he has a hard time as the phone is in a bag or coat, or lunchbag. Just as he finds it, the phone rings again.

Brandon answers it in a whisper halfway through the second ring (looking around defensively in embarrassment):

Hello? (short beat)

Who? (short beat)

Oh… (blushes, stammers.)

KT (to Brandon, pissed off): Hey. What the hell are you doing?

Brandon (meekly to KT) : Talking

KT (to Brandon): Talking? (Sarcastic) Ooookay.

(to the audience. Points to herself) I was talking.

Brandon (covers receiver): Well, I had to answer it.

KT (to audience and Brandon at once): Dude, hang up on them.

Brandon: No I ca(trails off, distracted by the voice on the phone)

KT (to the audience): That’s what I would do.

Brandon (quietly into phone): Can I call you back? Please? (beat)

(whispers) What time is it there?


KT walks toward Brandon (to Brandon, beginning when he says "there"): Give me the damned the phone. Here. (KT grabs the phone away from Brandon and quickly moves back to the center of the stage. Speaks crossly into it)

KT (moving in little circles under the spotlight) This is a performance you are interrupting! Look,

(beat as KT listens)

Look Senorita, I don’t care if you’re from Mars.

(Long beat as KT listens)

You’re kidding me.

No…Uhn uh.

(Long beat as KT listens)

KT looks around the audience and starts to smile evilly: Hey everybody…

Brandon’s gonna be a daddy!

(Brandon faints as noisily as possible.)

Cigars for everyone!



"We Interrupt the Piece Already in Progress..." debuted August 30, 2002, performed by KT and Brandon Allison.

Performed at Best of No Shame on October 10 & 11, 2002.

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