copyright © 2002 Lee Moyer
5 Minute Migration
Written by Lee Moyer
Performed 6/21/02 by Greg Hays and Annaliese Moyer
Scene: 2 chairs set up C. Lee sits on the Drivers Side. Annaliese to his right.
Props: A map or atlas of the US.
Instructions: This piece should begin conversationally, but when Annaliese says "GO !" the actors should begin going as fast as they can through the names. The later sections can be done more slowly, but please move briskly thoughout. If you blow a name, move on. Any attempt to correct will bring things down. When theres a line, pause briefly before the next section. When Lee reaches "Redrum Burger" he should make the finger talk ala "The Shining." At the end of long sections, try a little panting for effect
Lees dialog is in Black, Annalieses is in Blue. Red indicates things to be done in unison. J
Lee: Hi. Some of you here tonight might remember me. Im Lee Moyer.
My lovely wife Annaliese (indicates her) and I moved to Portland, Oregon 3 weeks ago.
Annaliese: In a 26 foot moving van that had a broken radio.
Lee: I can see the envy in your eyes... But the truth is
Annaliese: And it only made us stronger.
Thats why we want to share our whole trip with you. But dont worry- theres no messy slide show.
Lee: No poorly filmed videotape with bad narration, no no.
Annaliese: Through the modern miracle of No Shame, youll experience the trip that took us 5 days in only 5 minutes. Youll learn to read the signs, just like we did.
Lee: But before we get going, youll need to make a few preparations.
First, look at a map. (Lee quickly opens a map to the audience, and just a quickly
tosses it over his shoulder. Points for height and hang time. J
Annaliese (dismissive): 64 to 70 to 25 to 80 to 84- Not exactly rocket science.
Lee: Now you need to bump up and down in your seats (Lee & Annaliese demonstrate), as though on a very bumpy road. Come on now- Get bouncing! How do you expect to be Star Trek extras if you cant jostle for 5 minutes? (Lee & Annaliese stop their bouncing).
Annaliese: Good. Now lets GO!
Bremen Bank and Trust
Hays - a rip roarin good time
KTs Good Time Barbecue
Scott City Scotts Depot
Scott Bluffs Scotts Bluff
Isle of Capri
Goodland Deadman Pass
Nicelytown Bogey Hills
Earth City Pluto Road
Dreamland Thief Valley
Bliss Hells Canyon
Eldorado Poverty Flats
Bridge of the Gods Devils Slide
Garden of Eden
City of Echo
Bass Masters Tudors Biscuitworld
Maze Car Star No Jake Brakes
Got a Bra Problem? Believe ON the Lord.
The End of Beige The Wondrous Telephone!
Adonis Oil Snake Oil for Sale
5-Legged Cow! The Aristocrat of Milks
Bozo Burger Redrum Burger
Rattlers to Relics Happiness is a Crock of Beans
Road maintained by: USS Dominion (Star Fleet)
Fruitland Mountain Man Rendezvous
Mount Fanny Fraziers Bottom
Flatbed Willies Flaming Gorge
Honeyville K-Y Christian College
Mount Emily Virgin River
Love Fir Cemetery Glorious Grass
Live Nude Bait Happy Jack
"5 Minute Migration"
IS COPYRIGHTED MATERIAL AND MAY NOT BE DOWNLOADED, TRANSMITTED,
PRINTED OR PERFORMED WITHOUT THE EXPRESS PERMISSION OF THE
"5 Minute Migration"
debuted June 21, 2002,
performed by Greg Hays and Annaliese Moyer.
[Lee Moyer's website]