copyright © 2002 Lee Moyer
5 Minute Migration
Written by Lee Moyer
Performed 6/21/02 by Greg Hays and Annaliese Moyer
www.leemoyer.com
6/7-8/02
Scene: 2 chairs set up C. Lee sits on the Driver’s Side. Annaliese to his right.
Props: A map or atlas of the US.
Instructions: This piece should begin conversationally, but when Annaliese says "GO !" the actors should begin going as fast as they can through the names. The later sections can be done more slowly, but please move briskly thoughout. If you blow a name, move on. Any attempt to correct will bring things down. When there’s a line, pause briefly before the next section. When Lee reaches "Redrum Burger" he should make the finger talk ala "The Shining." At the end of long sections, try a little panting for effect…
Lee’s dialog is in Black, Annaliese’s is in Blue. Red indicates things to be done in unison. J
Lee: Hi. Some of you here tonight might remember me. I’m Lee Moyer.
My lovely wife Annaliese (indicates her) and I moved to Portland, Oregon 3 weeks ago.
Annaliese
: In a 26 foot moving van that had a broken radio.
Lee: I can see the envy in your eyes... But the truth is… we survived.
Annaliese:
And it only made us stronger.
That’s why we want to share our whole trip with you. But don’t worry- there’s no messy slide show.
Lee:
No poorly filmed videotape with bad narration, no no.
Annaliese:
Through the modern miracle of No Shame, you’ll experience the trip that took us 5 days in only 5 minutes. You’ll learn to read the signs, just like we did.
Lee:
But before we get going, you’ll need to make a few preparations.
First, look at a map. (Lee quickly opens a map to the audience, and just a quickly
tosses it over his shoulder. Points for height and hang time. J
Annaliese
(dismissive): 64 to 70 to 25 to 80 to 84- Not exactly rocket science.
Lee:
Now you need to bump up and down in your seats (Lee & Annaliese demonstrate), as though on a very bumpy road. Come on now- Get bouncing! How do you expect to be Star Trek extras if you can’t jostle for 5 minutes? (Lee & Annaliese stop their bouncing).
Annaliese:
Good. Now let’s GO!
Charlottesville
Adrian
Alma
Ann
Anthony
Beverly
Bradley
Catharine
Corinne
Elton
Emma
Emmett
Hanna
Helen
Hilda
Hugo
Ione
Jerome
John
Judy
Kimberly
Lamont
Loretta
Lucas
Margo
Melba
Milton
Niles
Paul
Perry
Rowena
Roy
Rufus
Rupert
Russell
Selma
Soloman
Sophia
Terry
Victoria
Wendell
Willard
Wilson
Bremen Bank and Trust
Hays - a rip roarin’ good time
Clinton Avenue
KT’s Good Time Barbecue
Scott City Scott’s Depot
Scott Bluffs Scott’s Bluff
Todd’s Point
Burly
Carefree
Crawly
Mossy
Shady
Superior
Bar Hat
Birdseye
Black Wolf
Crows
Day
Daylight
Hygiene
Lime
Marmot
Nitro
Pork
Princess
Star
Aden
Albion
Berlin
Carthage
Elba
Frankfort
Genoa
Havana
Isle of Capri
Little America
Little Sweden
Malta
Manhattan
Odessa
Paris
Parma
Riga
Strasburg
Swansea
Versailles
Westminster
Yale
Zurich
Goodland Deadman Pass
Nicelytown Bogey Hills
Earth City Pluto Road
Dreamland Thief Valley
Bliss Hell’s Canyon
Eldorado Poverty Flats
Bridge of the Gods Devil’s Slide
Garden of Eden
Eden
Mount Eden
Eden
City of Echo
Echo
Echo
Echo
Baldock
Bovina
Declo
Gove
Henefer
Hoxie
Idahome
Irrigon
Kaskaskia
Kemmerer
Konza
Kuna
Leoti
Mascouta
Memaloose
Minidoka
Moomaw
Nampa
Napoken
Niwot
Notus
Onyhu
Paxico
Poca
Pocatalico
Pola
Quealy
Seedskadee
Snokomo
Texico
Thiokol
Tonganoxie
Ukiah
Umatilla
Vedauwoo
Veechdale
Voda
Vona
Wabaunsee
Waddy
Wahsatch
Wakeemey
Walla Walla
Wamego
Wamsutter
Wasco
Yakima
Yokemento
Zumbehl
Bass Masters Tudor’s Biscuitworld
Maze Car Star No Jake Brakes
Got a Bra Problem? Believe ON the Lord.
The End of Beige The Wondrous Telephone!
Adonis Oil Snake Oil for Sale
5-Legged Cow! The Aristocrat of Milks
Bozo Burger Redrum Burger
Rattlers to Relics Happiness is a Crock of Beans
Road maintained by: USS Dominion (Star Fleet)
Fruitland Mountain Man Rendezvous
Mount Fanny Frazier’s Bottom
Flatbed Willies Flaming Gorge
Honeyville K-Y Christian College
Fontenelle Dix
Mount Emily Virgin River
Love Fir Cemetery Glorious Grass
Hooters Honkers
Live Nude Bait Happy Jack
PORTLAND!
"5 Minute Migration"
IS COPYRIGHTED MATERIAL AND MAY NOT BE DOWNLOADED, TRANSMITTED,
PRINTED OR PERFORMED WITHOUT THE EXPRESS PERMISSION OF THE
AUTHOR
"5 Minute Migration"
debuted June 21, 2002,
performed by Greg Hays and Annaliese Moyer.
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