Hard to Conceive
By Lee Moyer
Written 3/2/02 Performed 3/8/02
Performed by Trent Westbrook, Jane Jones, and Lee Moyer
[Spotlight shines dimly on Trent- sitting in the window]
Lee from backstage: You may think your life is boring.
But you dont know boring until you find yourself in solitary.
You cant imagine how boring it is.
You want out. Youd give anything to get out but you dont have anything to give
Doesnt good behavior count for anything anymore? Doesnt the presumption of innocence apply to you? Doesnt anybody care?
You have no recourse to the law- not in here. Not in solitary
You really dont know what you did to deserve this- Its not like youre a bad guy or anything. Maybe you sinned, but who doesnt? Youre only human after all
You try to break out. You try to dig. You try to tunnel. You try to crack the walls, but you cant. Not with your fingers, not with your nails. Not with your fists. Not with your feet. Not with your head.
You sometimes hear muffled conversation from outside. You hear sounds, but you never hear any words. Sounds, but no substance. You are so tortured by these vague sounds- sounds that are always just beyond the threshold of hearing- that you put your hands over your ears. Then all you hear is your heartbeat Some conversationalist.
Theres no one you can talk to.
Theres nothing you can do.
Theres no music.
Theres no television
Theres no theatre.
Sometimes, when you are feeling philosophical, you feel bad for the other inmates. Did they get a bum rap too?
You wonder what they did.
You wonder if they are in solitary.
You wonder if their sentence is any shorter than yours.
You wonder if theyve thought of something you havent.
You wonder if theyve found some way to escape.
Sometimes you try to communicate with them. You try to use the codes youve been developing in your head. The knocking codes. The kicking codes. The shouting codes.
But theres never a response.
The food never changes, and youd stop eating it in protest, but a lingering Death would be worse than your malingering life.
You can only count off the days in your head, on your fingers, with your toes. And thats no easy task, because theres no windows here.
The days never end.
Or maybe they end with every breath.
You just dont know anymore.
Youve got no markers to show you the way. Any way. All sense of perspective, all sense of self, all stimuli, all that you want, all that you crave. All gone. Maybe never to come back
You imagine what youll do when you get out When you get out!
It all seems so hard to conceive- to imagine a day when youll be free.
But you cant help thinking about it.
You call it Liberation Day and start to plan...
There will be a party. A big party.
Everyone you love will be there.
A little T & A.
Maybe a photographer.
Or a Video rig- record the whole thing so you can enjoy the party over and over. Thatd be sweet. After all, youve waited a long time
Sometimes you hear a noise thats just a little different.
You imagine the footsteps and sense a chance.
You think your time is finally up.
But youre wrong.
Youve always been wrong
Until today [Trent falls out of the window]
[ALL LIGHTS UP FULL]
Dr. Jane (loudly from offstage): Congratulations Mrs. Westbrook. Its a boy.
[BLACK OUT]"Hard to Conceive" IS COPYRIGHTED MATERIAL AND MAY NOT BE DOWNLOADED, TRANSMITTED, PRINTED OR PERFORMED WITHOUT THE EXPRESS PERMISSION OF THE AUTHOR
"Hard to Conceive" debuted March 8, 2002, performed by Trent Westbrook, Jane Jones, and Lee Moyer.