Freaks
By Lee Moyer
No Shame Theatre 11/23/01
www.leemoyer.com(434) 297-4137
Theyre out there, they are.
Theyre whats diffrent
Theyre whats new on the face of the earth.
I never much wanted to admit it, but that Darwin feller, he had it right all along. He had it right the whole time.
Theyre what follows us right enough But if you ask me, theyre followin too damn close, and thats thats right dangerous
I remember a time when there was good ole White boys playing basketball- playin baseball. They was what it meant to be Americans.
I use to play a bit myself, back in the day. I was 6 foot 2 then, if you can believe it- 17 years old and 6 foot 2. They called me "Long" and I could take that ball long, I could take it out of near any park- before them bats was all corked and fields was all tiny. Hell, before all the darkies and Nips took it over. Before all that money was sent away to wog families pumpin out babies and just hopin fer the next slugger. It was a game you played cause you loved it.
Well, I reckon thats progress for you.
Now it aint my sort a progress, dont get me wrong now.
But bad as that is, that aint what I mean. No Sir.
It aint what Im a tellin you.
I only bring it up by way of what you might call contrast.
I was mighty tall, mighty tall. Why, I was the tallest boy in my whole town, probably in the whole damn county. I was 21 before I saw anyone bigger, and he was a giant. Suffered some kind a damn disease, some condition.
Word was his Momma didnt even know who his daddy was
I think he was pretty glad to die when he did - even so young as that. He knew he was a freak, an abomination before the eyes of our Lord.
His big ole heart just gave out one day. The bigger they are, the harder they fall scripture tells us... The coroner said his heart was the size of God-damn cantaloupe. Can you imagine? A cantaloupe?
Hell, I thought I was a freak for a time too, when I grew up so fast, shootin past all my older brothers like I was a weed
But the ladies all liked me fine, and I had my pick of all the little beauties.
My Victoria was a gift from Heaven, God rest her soul. She was the prettiest, curviest, ripest woman you ever saw. Men would fall around her like leaves, just waitin for a chance to dance. She was an angel, and I was lucky to have her for my own. And our kids well, they grew up strong and proud and pretty. And none of em topped out over 5 foot 6.
My kids were good kids. Beautiful kids. American kids.
And now theyre all grown up, moved away to the big city. Our youngest- Angela, she was only 9 when her momma died. And now that shes grown up, Angela is the spittin image. And shes gone off to be in the pictures like her momma never did. Not with me and the kids hangin on her
But now, now I worry about them freaks. I really do.
I remember we used to have a set. A regular TV set that brought in pictures from round the world. And Id go out to the picture shows from time to time. I loved those pictures. Made me believe I was there, they did. There with Gene Autry in the old west, there with the Little Tramp, there with that fine Mae West.
"Why yes you Mae!" we used to laugh. Lillian Gish, Americas sweetheart. Hell, Alan Ladd werent no taller than my chestbone, but he made some fine pictures.
But now Angela most beautiful girl in the whole damn state - Face of an angel and a voice
Oh, that voice that makes grown men weep.
Angela cant work. She cant find work. And why?
Freaks.
I cant look at the TV or go to a picture show no more.
Its the Freaks. Theyre everywhere.
I dunno where they come from, but come they do. Little girls taller than I ever was. 12 years old, 6 foot 4 and modelin panties and posin in their birthday outfits. These girls is like green saplings with titties. These freaks, there aint one ounce of beauty on those brittle bones.
Maybe they "wear clothes well" Ive heard that said.
Well, who cares? If they "wear clothes well"? Theyre freaks.
No one wants a woman who "wears clothes well" if theres nothin hold onto. You know what Im sayin?
Horseface "Pretty Woman" Julie Roberts and that pointy stick Streep woman. All them Freak news folk and Freak movie folk. Them Freak Sports gals. Freak Fitness trainers. Those damned women CEOs and all those Freak trophy wives.
Theyre like the damn aliens that all the retards at the Diner go on about. Big dark eyes, pale skin and thinner than tea. But them aliens - they aint the new world order - its these Freaks that are!
The aliens aint got the silicon.
Imagine puttin silicon in a perfectly good bosom!
Thats like puttin 2 lumps a coal in yer Bourbon!
What kind of new world is this???
Its a world a freaks, and all my prayers cant change it back.
Poor Angela My poor beautiful Angela
[long beat]
I sometimes think itd been better if Angela took after me.
[Blackout]
"Freaks" IS COPYRIGHTED MATERIAL AND MAY NOT BE DOWNLOADED, TRANSMITTED, PRINTED OR PERFORMED WITHOUT THE EXPRESS PERMISSION OF THE AUTHOR
"Freaks" debuted November 23, 2001.