A No Shame Libretto for Clinton Johnston.

By Lee Moyer (who disavows all knowledge)

10/25/01

I’m so low people. I’m so blue,

There’s Anthrax, bombin’ and the West Nile Flu.

I watch the news and feel we’re screwed.

Should I cut my hair? Should I get tattooed?

I can’t win, so what to do?

No I can’t win, and I can’t sue.

I’m down so low I can’t get up.

I wanna get down, but I can’t shtup.

Oh I can’t win. How ‘bout you?

No I can’t win, you know it’s true.

So Republican hack Bob Dole

That man took my hand, he righted my soul.

He told me of his simple cure.

I read his lips and the literature.

Now I feel better, I must say.

I use it just about every day.

Vi-agra, Vi-agra

I’m the next Niagra

I’m no longer a sad old thing

I’m better now cause I’ve got Shwing.

Gonna have me some fun before I die.

The time’s they’re hard, but so am I.

Vi-agra, Vi-agra

Seeking Senora Pelagra

There’s just one thing that I’m still lacking

A gal who wants to give me backing

For my extended ground campaign

For all her deltas, peaks and plains.

Vi-agra, Vi-agra

Vi-agra, Vi-agra

I’m Vi-aggravated!