copyright © 2005 Scott McGee

Sometimes the Religion of Your Heart Breaks Mine

by Scott McGee

(GIRL and BOY enter holding hands. PREACH gives them disdainful look. They stop giggling and drop hands. MAX enters behind them and they all kneel together at PREACH’s instruction.)

BOY

Sometimes, I just want to feel you.

GIRL

Sometimes, I just want you to feel the way you fuck me.

PREACH

Sometimes, the world calls us forth to answer the primal urges we all are heir to. And we are quick to answer that call like some sort of Lollipop Sheriff on his way to CandyLand! But I beg you… I… beg … you… to reconsider those impulses and to fight them off with the Ramrod of Justice and the Jelly-Basted Dance of the Lord!!! Praise God!

MAX

Sometimes!!!!

BOY

Sometimes, I think I’m only a last minute pit stop in your lifelong race through life. I hate that I feel that way. I hate that you… make me feel that way.

GIRL

You were my everything.

BOY

You …are… my everything.

GIRL

I can’t help that.

BOY

Sometimes, you can be a cold-hearted bitch, you know that?

GIRL

Yeah, well… sometimes I wish you could feel the heat inside the ice of my heart.

PREACH

Sometimes, the sin of the black-bellied beast can be washed clean by Lilly-fresh fingers of our Lord! Be wary of the smell of temptation for a Fickled-Nosed Jesus will sniff you out and crush you like the Peppered-Scented Devil of Infidelity!

MAX

Sometimes!!!!

GIRL

Sometimes, when my world collapses I pray to god. Sometimes, I don’t know why.

BOY

Sometimes, when my world collapses all I have is you.

GIRL

Sometimes, if you look really closely… you can see that… you don’t even have that.

PREACH

Sometimes, the Northbound Prophecies I preach fall upon the ears of a Southside flock. The Lord forgives you. The Lord forgives you. But I do NOT! For I am the Double-Barreled Bully of God and I will push you and pull you and YOU will not falter. YOU will get right with the wrong side of God. This I promise you. This I will deliver.

MAX

Sometimes! Sometimes!

PREACH

I promise you!

MAX

SOMETIMES!!

PREACH

Be healed!!!

MAX

SOMETIMES!!! (kills PREACH) SOOOOOOOOMETIMES!!! (pause) Sometimes… the Pain of a Bobble-headed Christ is more than the world can bear. Sometimes…

BOY

Sometimes, I talk to god … but he doesn’t answer. No one answers me. And I realize that I really am all alone. Sometimes…

GIRL
Sometimes, all I have is myself. And I realize that’s really is all I truly need. Sometimes…

(Girl reaches for Boy. They touch lovingly, tentatively. Hold.)

MAX
Sometimes… (looks to PREACH) Sometimes…

LIGHTS FADE OUT

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