The Religion of Line Dancing
by Scott McGee
(LURLEEN enters wearing a cowboy hat with a religious cross on the front of it. She stares at the audience for a bit, sizing them up. Then she begins to preach to them.)
There are sacred moments in everyones life. Mine came in the Summer of 1996. That was the summer I learned to line dance. Now you may laugh, but line dancing changed my life. Before the summer of 96, I was totally and completely lost in a sea of Techno-Giration that can only be described as a cascade of finger waving, arm flaying nothingness. I was adrift, my friends. But then I discovered the exhilaration that comes from a group of strangers all turning in rhythm to the melodious strains of latest Alan Jackson ditty. You see, line dancing is an art form that transcends all other forms of dance. You cant be in a room with a group of line dancers and not think to yourself, "You know I could do that. I mean, Im not sure about that twisty turn, slap the boot thing, but most of that, I can do!" And before you know it, the beat of the music and the unity of motion have utterly won you over. There you are on the dance floor amidst a swelling mob of floor stomping, boot scraping, cowboy hat-wearing line dancers and you, my friend, are doing the Boot Scootin Boogie! So dont be fooled by those who will tempt your dancing heart with their talks of a Swing Dance revolution, with their crazy notions of a Break-dance Comeback! No, the only true salvation that you will find on the parqueted dance floors of this world resides in the beauty of the Tush Push or the wonder that accompanies the Panama Shake. Line Dancing will save your soul, my friends. It saved mine.
Copyright ã 2004 Scott McGeeTHIS SCRIPT IS COPYRIGHTED MATERIAL AND MAY NOT BE DOWNLOADED, TRANSMITTED, PRINTED OR PERFORMED WITHOUT THE EXPRESS PERMISSION OF THE AUTHOR
LURLEEN: Tory Seiter