The Dream Life of Frostie Cribbs
by Shannon McCormick (based on material supplied by Amy McCurdy)
lights up on Frostie Cribbs, a white girl trying to look "street", circa 1990 or maybe still today. She wears a stocking cap pulled down to right above her eyes and shell top Adidas. Kind of a gang look.
FROSTIE CRIBBS:
Hey yo, people are always coming up to me and being like, "Hey yo, whats it like to be Frostie Cribbs?" Thats my name seeFrostie Cribbs.
Yeah, so let Frostie tell you what its like to be Frostie Cribbs.
For most of my life I never had a pair of shoes that was over 15 dollars.
They were all from Goodwill or Payless.
Then one day I saved
up $60 and bought my first pair of Shelltop adiddas.
They were black with white strips and white shell.
Even though I thought I was going to get white ones I
liked these much better. They were my favorite
possession and to this day whenever I see anyone with
those shoes I instantly like them a lot better.
Like this one time I slept with this guy partially because he had those shoes.
That and he was a rock star.
I mean it started like any other day for me does, right.
You know, I had to make this pie but all of the ingredients were hidden in the
haunted secret mansion on the hill outside my village. Just a normal day, know what Im saying.
So I go on up to the haunted secret mansion to break in so I can get the ingredients to make the pie, but this day was different. Normally theres a guard at the door, but this time it was a
shadow man.
Thats the only way I can describe himhe was just a dark figure of
a person, like a 3D shadow that I could hug and dance
with. Cause thats what I wanted to do.
I just knew he was a rock star He was sitting there behind a trap set. He was a drummer see, and he was drumming and rocking so hard.
When I got up to the secret haunted mansion to steal ingredients for my pie
I saw that he was wearing those same shoes.
So we went out and got married and had a great afternoon
buying washing machines together.
But then when we got home, my mother
was watching television and she told me how scared she
was that the sun was going to fly out of the sky that
night. And I was like yeah right, and Rock So Hard Drummer was like yeah right,
but that night the sun went down and flew out of the sky.
So I went down to where I thought I saw it land.
There was a glowing orange sphere by the side of a lake.
I went to the orb and stood by it and it grew from the size
of a basketball to the size of van. Suddenly, Rock So Hard Drummer was there,
but he was an old man. He came
stumbling out and said that I must see the man in the
pond. I asked him how to get there and he said take
the sphere.
I got in the sphere and it went in the pond
Then it went much further down
than it was supposed to go and when it was really far
down it took a left and after a while there was a
beautiful mer-city. There were mermaids and mermen and
merkids and houses and so on and so forth. Basically I got taken to the MerKing who told
me someone must give up there life and sit in the sun
for the good of humanity. Because it must be manned
and controlled and the person lives in it for 5,000
years.
And then my Mom was there and the Mer-King made us have
a competition to see who could
fill the most shoes with Reeses pieces before the
buzzer went off and there were shoes of all kinds and
I lost. So my Mom lost and had to give up her life and sit inside the sun for 5,000 years.
So I think shoes are a
symbol of where you have been and who you are or were.
And thats what its like being Frostie Cribbs.
"The Dream Life of Frostie Cribbs" IS COPYRIGHTED MATERIAL AND MAY NOT BE DOWNLOADED, TRANSMITTED, PRINTED OR PERFORMED WITHOUT THE EXPRESS PERMISSION OF THE AUTHOR
"The Dream Life of Frostie Cribbs" debuted February 15, 2002, performed by Amy McCurdy.