copyright © 2003 Joshua James
THREE ANGRY GUYS (or could be GIRLS) point out various people in the audience that they do not like.
ONE
Fuck you.
TWO
Fuck you.
THREE
Fuck you.
ONE
You in the front . . .
TWO
Fuck you.
THREE
And the big mouth fucker in the back . . .
ONE
Fuck you.
TWO
You, girl with big hair . . .
THREE
Fuck you.
ONE
The fucker at the door that charged us a buck to get into this fucking place.
TWO
Fuck you.
THREE
Fuck you.
ONE
Fuck you.
TWO
Fuck you and the horse you rode in on, you fuck.
THREE
And while we’re at it, fuck you over there, too.
ONE
And YOU, you fucker, I see you over there.
TWO
Hiding like a fuck, you fucker. Fuck you.
THREE
Fuck you and the guy sitting next to you, too.
ONE
Especially fuck the guy next to you.
TWO
A BIG FUCK YOU to the guy next to you, for not recognizing what a fuck YOU are. Fuck the both of you.
THREE
You. You. You. Fuck you.
ONE
A general fuck you to that entire row of fuckers.
TWO
But especially you on the end, fuck you.
THREE
Don’t even try and fucking pretend you don’t know what we’re talkin’ about, you fucker.
ONE
Fuck you for even TRYING to look all innocent-like.
TWO
Fuck you and fuck anyone that even looks remotely LIKE you, you fucker.
THREE
And that guy, that fucking guy that left early?
ONE
Oh man, yeah, fuck that guy.
TWO
Fuck that fucking fucker.
THREE
Fucking rude and fucking inconsiderate fuck. Wherever you are, Mister-leave-early guy . . .
ONE
FAA-HUUUCK YA-OUUU!
TWO
Fuck you and fuck your whole family!
THREE
And all of you fuckers that came in late and missed the beginning?
ONE
FAA-HUUCK YA-OUUUUUU.
TWO
A BIG FUCK YOU. You know what time it starts, you rude fuckers. Faa-huuuck Ya-ouuuu. FUCK YOU!
THREE
You there, the giggler, you think this is funny?
ONE
Fuck you!
TWO
And that guy there, and the girl there and the guy with her, fuck you.
THREE
Basically, all you fuckers.
ONE
You fuckers.
TWO
You fuckers.
THREE
Fuck you.
ONE
Fuck you!
TWO
FAA-HUUUCK YA-OUUUU!
THREE
Okay. Okay. Okay. Hold on the fuck. Have we left anyone out?
ONE
I think that’s everyone.
TWO
I think we got all the fuckers.
Blackout. Short pause. Scene continues in darkness.
ONE
Fuck the guy running the lights!
TWO
Especially that fucking guy, fuck him!
THREE
That fucker!
ONE
FAA-HUUUCK YAA-OUUUUU!!
The End.
THIS SCRIPT IS COPYRIGHTED MATERIAL AND MAY NOT BE DOWNLOADED, TRANSMITTED, PRINTED OR PERFORMED WITHOUT THE EXPRESS PERMISSION OF THE AUTHOR
Performed by Dan Brooks, Adam Devine and Joshua James
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