copyright © 2002
James Horak / James Erwin
comedy, 2 roles, gender-neutral --------- A Happy Song About Smiles by James Horak & James Erwin ACT I - LIGHTS DOWN AND UP JOHNNY: I love butterflies. they are fragile and delicate. GEORGE: Ha Ha! When I put butterflies in my bicycle wheels, they do not make snapping noises like a baseball card. They make a wet little puff and they're gone. J: That's awful! I love butterflies! G: I love hapkido! Whack you! (he hapkidos J) J: Ow! G: Indeed, I am an hapkido master! Trifle with me at your peril! Ka zoo! (hapkido) J: Aughahwah G: Egads! You sound like a woman's orgasm! J: A wha? G: Yes, I loves me the sound of a womanly orgasm! J: I have never heard that sound. I like the sound of butterflies wrestling free of the pupum. G: Listen carefully and I will tell you of the sound of a woman's orgasm. J: Oh, swell! (long pause. JOHNNY listens) G: Soo pah! (hapkido) J: Ughawau! G: There, did you hear it? J: It sounded like a whooping cough! G: And this sounds like... hapkido! Ska pow! (hapkido) J: O! O! I can't hear! You make my legs deaf! G: That is a grasshopper! J: You are a grasshopper! G: You are a butterfly. J: I am a butterfly. I am a butterfly. I am a butterfly. END OF ACT I ACT II - LIGHTS DOWN AND UP JOHNNY flits around the stage like a butterfly. GEORGE picks up tables and chairs, setting them down in different places. J: The butterfly goes through three distinct life stages. G: Mastery of hapkido. Orgasm. Wet mist on my bicycle wheel. J: Yes. G: And then? J: And then? G: Hapkido is the ancient Japanese art of making a woman go orgasm. J: Mastery of making a woman go orgasm! Pu! Hee! (he hapkidos) G: Look at me! I am hapkido! J: Look at me! I am butterfly! G: Orgasm is the ancient Japanese art of butterflies. They clap in unison. LIGHTS DOWN IMMEDIATELY. END OF ACT II ACT III - LIGHTS UP JOHNNY and GEORGE return to their seats. END OF ACT III - LIGHTS DOWN - The End & Yes."A Happy Song About Smiles" IS COPYRIGHTED MATERIAL AND MAY NOT BE DOWNLOADED, TRANSMITTED, PRINTED OR PERFORMED WITHOUT THE EXPRESS PERMISSION OF THE AUTHOR
Johnny - James Horak
George - Michael Tabor
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