(Jack drives up to a gas station, and looks up at the sign.)
Jack: Pinterville, huh? I wonder how you get service around here.
(He gets out of his car. Pete enters, Jack doesn’t notice this. After a pause, he speaks.)
Pete: What are you doing here?
Jack: Oh, hi! I didn’t see you there.
Pete: You didn’t answer my question.
Jack: I’m sorry, what was it?
Pete: What are you doing here?
Jack: Just passing through town, noticed I was low on gas.
(Pause.)
Pete: Is that all?
Jack: ... Yeah, I guess.
Pete: What are you doing here?
Jack: Oh! Um, fill ‘er up.
Pete: Her?
Jack: The car, sorry. Can I get some gas for the car?
(Pause.)
Pete: How do you know?
Jack: Know what?
Pete: The gender.
Jack: The... gender...
Pete: Does the manual tell?
Jack: The car!
Pete: The car.
(Pause.)
Jack: It’s a fairly common term, isn’t it?
Pete: What is?
Jack: Her.
Pete: For women.
Jack: And cars.
Pete: And women.
Jack: Yes, women.
(Pause.)
Pete: What do you want?
Jack: I want some gas, I thought we’d been through this.
Pete: You want gas?
Jack: Yes.
Pete: So you came here?
Jack: This is a gas station, isn’t it?
Pete: Is it?
Jack: It certainly looks like one.
Pete: ...Does it?
Jack: Frankly, yes.
Pete: Frankly?
Jack: Yes.
Pete: Yes?
Jack: Frankly.
Pete: Frankly.
Jack: Yes.
Pete: Yes.
(Pause.)
Jack: Look, can I get some service here?
Pete: Service?
Jack: Please!
Pete: I thought you wanted gas.
Jack: I do, but...
Pete: Well, what is it?
Jack: I-
Pete: Service? Or gas?
Jack: ...Aren’t they the same thing?
(Pause.)
Pete: What are you implying?
Jack: Nothing, I-
Pete: What do you want?
Jack: I told you-
Pete: WHAT DO YOU WANT!
(Pause.)
Jack: I guess I’ll be going, then.
Pete: You’re going now?
Jack: I can’t get what I want here, apparently.
Pete: What do you want?
Jack: Please shut up.
(Jack drives off, Pete exits. Jack stops.)
Jack: This is it, I can’t go any further. God, I just hope I get more help in (Looks at sign.) Mamet Town.
(Chic enters.)
Chic: The fuck you want?
Jack: Oh, Christ.
(Blackout.)
"A Pit-Stop in Pinterville" debuted 2/19/99.Performed at 17th Anniversary Retro-Shame in the Truck on October 3, 2003 with Mark Hansen and Chuck Monson in the leads, and Nick Clark as Chic, the denizen of Mamet Town.
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