copyright © 2006 Jeff Goode & Mike Rothschild

Movie Reviews with Mike & Jeff

"Saw 3"

written by Mike Rothschild & Jeff Goode


JEFF. I just had the worst case of deja vu at the movies.

MIKE. What did you see?

JEFF. "Saw 3."

MIKE. Yeah, what movies?

JEFF. No, I only saw one.

MIKE. What was it?

JEFF. "Saw 3."

MIKE. Three?

JEFF. Yep. And let me tell you, it gave me really bad deja vu.

MIKE. Which movie that you saw gave you deja vu?

JEFF. "Saw 3."

MIKE. I know that...

JEFF. Then why did you ask me which one it was?

MIKE. Because you haven't told me what you saw.

JEFF. "Saw 3."

MIKE. I know! Three! We've established that.

JEFF. And we've established it gave me really bad deja vu.


JEFF. Which one what?

MIKE. "Which one what" what?

JEFF. What?

MIKE. Which movie that you saw gave you deja vu? Was it the first movie or the second movie or the third movie?

JEFF. Oh, I didn't see the first one.

MIKE. You didn't see the first one?

JEFF. Nah. It didn't look very good. But I've seen the second movie before. And today I saw "3".

MIKE. No, you saw two.

JEFF. Not today.

MIKE. If you didn't see the first movie, but you saw the 2nd and 3rd, then that's two movies.

JEFF. Right, but I only saw one of them today.

MIKE. You only saw one movie.

JEFF. Yes, only one.

MIKE. You're sure about that?

JEFF. I'm positive. Only "Saw 3".


JEFF. Yes!

MIKE. You saw one movie.

JEFF. "Saw 3".

MIKE. No, you saw one movie.

JEFF. "Saw 3!"

MIKE. Fine! You saw three movies!

JEFF. No, I didn't.

MIKE. Why do I feel like we've had this conversation before?

JEFF. I know! It's just like the conversation we had after I saw the 2nd movie.

MIKE. So there were at least two movies.

JEFF. There were three.

MIKE. But you only saw one.

JEFF. I never saw "1".

MIKE. Not at all.

JEFF. It didn't look good.

MIKE. So you stayed home.

JEFF. Yes, but not today.

MIKE. Is it possible you saw the same movie three times?

JEFF. No, but it felt like I'd seen it twice. Because last year I saw "2", and then today I saw "3".

MIKE. So 5 total.

JEFF. No, two.

MIKE. Two and three is five.

JEFF. How do you figure?

MIKE. How do I figure?!

JEFF. Deja vu.

MIKE. Stop it.

JEFF. Look, last year: "Saw 2".

MIKE. So that's two.

JEFF. No, that's one. And this year: "Saw 3".

MIKE. Right.

JEFF. So that's one more.

MIKE. One more than three?

JEFF. One more than "2".

MIKE. Three.

JEFF. No, two.

MIKE. Two and one is three.

JEFF. But one and one is two.

MIKE. And that's what you saw?

JEFF. Right. "2" and "3".

MIKE. If you saw two...?

JEFF. Yes.

MIKE. And you saw three...?

JEFF. Yes.

MIKE. How could you not have seen five??

JEFF. I don't think it's out yet.

MIKE. What's not out?

JEFF. "Saw 5".

MIKE. "Saw 5"?

JEFF. They've got to make "Saw 4" before they make "5", or people will get confused.

MIKE. So you saw the new "Saw" movie "3"?

JEFF. Yeah. Hey, "saw the saw", that's funny! "Today I saw the new 'Saw' movie. I saw 'Saw 3'." Get it? "Saw"? Saw it?

MIKE. You don't want to do that.

JEFF. They should make a prequel to "Saw"! You know what they could call it?

MIKE. "Scene".



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