ONE NARRATOR. Once upon a time, there was a big Dragon.

ONE DRAGON. Hello, I'm a BIG dragon.

TWO NARRATOR. Snyx was a very peaceful Dragon, as Dragons go...

ONE DRAGON. I can't remember the last time I flew out across the ocean to kill and destroy. It must be several years now.

ONE NARRATOR. Still, many brave and powerful knights sailed out across the ocean to do battle with Snyx, because, First of all, The only good Dragon is a dead Dragon, and "Better safe than Sorry", and also you were really cool if you came back alive.

TWO KNIGHT. Avaunt, Dragon! Aroint!

ONE DRAGON. Who is it?

TWO KNIGHT. Avast Dragon! Avaunt! I am Sir Callahan, Knight of Legend, come to do battle.

ONE DRAGON. Why do you want to do battle with me? You can't win.

TWO KNIGHT. Because if I do win, the Stories about me will be Legend. The Legends will be Epic. I will live forever in the hearts of my people and I will live next week in the castle of my King.

ONE DRAGON. But what if you don't win?

TWO KNIGHT. Then I will still live on in Legend, as a Courageous Knight who died defending his country against the infernal beast.

ONE DRAGON. But your country is over there.

TWO KNIGHT. It doesn't matter. There is nothing so Noble, so Brave, Nothing so Valorous as to meet your end in Heroic Struggle.

ONE DRAGON. Poof.

TWO KNIGHT. Agh! I'm on Fire! Oh God, make it stop! It hurts! Etc...

ONE NARRATOR. So it was that many fearless knights came to an heroic end at the hands of the infernal Snyx.

TWO NARRATOR. Then one day, a Virus came to the Island.

TWO VIRUS. Hi, I'm a Virus.

ONE DRAGON. Who is it?

TWO VIRUS. It's me. The Virus. Whatcha gonna do, Huh? Ya gonna burn me? Whatcha gonna do?

ONE DRAGON. Nothing, you're a Virus.

TWO VIRUS. Ho ho! Come on, Dragon! You can't catch me. Ya can't catch me!

ONE DRAGON. I don't want to catch you.

TWO VIRUS. Oop! Look, now I'm in your soup!

ONE DRAGON. I won't eat my soup.

TWO VIRUS. Ho ho, now I'm in your milkshake! What're ya gonna do?

ONE DRAGON. I won't drink my milkshake.

TWO VIRUS. Ha ha, you can't catch me!

ONE DRAGON. I don't want to catch you. Leave me alone.

TWO NARRATOR. But it was impossible to be careful and eat right all the time, and eventually the Dragon did catch a Virus.

ONE NARRATOR. And it wasn't too long before another Knight came to do Battle.

TWO KNIGHT. Ahoy, Dragon! Avast!

ONE DRAGON. Hi, look, I'm really tuckered out right now, and I thought maybe we could just talk this out. Oh God, I feel sick, I'm just going to sit down for a spell, and why don't you help yourself to some cocoa or something and we'll talk.

TWO KNIGHT. STAB.

ONE DRAGON. Oh, you are really tough.