- November 3, 2006 - No Shame Los Angeles
Directed by Deborah Nathan
Performed by Radick Cembrzynski & Edwin Santos.
Little Feet
by Jeff Goode
LITTLE FEET
I have little feet.
PEDIPHILE
I noticed.
LITTLE FEET
You’ve been looking at my feet?
PEDIPHILE
No.
LITTLE FEET
That creeps me out.
PEDIPHILE
I wasn’t looking at them.
LITTLE FEET
Then why did you bring it up?
PEDIPHILE
I didn’t. You did.
LITTLE FEET
I only said that I have little feet. You’re the one who admitted you were staring at them the whole time.
PEDIPHILE
I said, "I noticed."
LITTLE FEET
Ugh! That’s even worse! You "noticed" them? It’s like you’re in love with them. It’s like you’ve been eying them from across the room. Watching and wondering if you have the courage to come over and ask them to dance.
PEDIPHILE
What?!
LITTLE FEET
Well, do you?
PEDIPHILE
No!
LITTLE FEET
You don’t have the courage?
PEDIPHILE
I don’t have the urge to ask you to dance.
LITTLE FEET
Oh my God! Not me! My feet! You want to ask me to dance? I thought you were looking at my feet, not my whole body!
PEDIPHILE
I wasn’t looking at anything.
LITTLE FEET
Well, stop it! It’s disgusting!
PEDIPHILE
I’m not!
LITTLE FEET
Who are you?!
PEDIPHILE
You’re the one who asked me to come over here.
LITTLE FEET
That’s no excuse! Do you do everything someone else wants you to do?
PEDIPHILE
Apparently.
LITTLE FEET
Then ask me to dance.
PEDIPHILE
What?
LITTLE FEET
Quick, before the moment passes.
(beat)
PEDIPHILE
Would you like to dance?
(beat)
LITTLE FEET
No.
PEDIPHILE
Why not??
LITTLE FEET
I have little feet.
Directed by Deborah Nathan
Performed by Radick Cembrzynski & Edwin Santos.
Library]
