copyright © 2003 Jeff Goode
I was in the post office the other day and I saw a poster for the new Thurgood Marshall stamp, and it occurred to me that this seems like such a small thing today, but in the days of segregated water fountains, if there had been a black man on a postage stamp, some people would have been afraid to even open their mail.

Thurgood Marshall's Stamp

by Jeff Goode © 2003

('50s HUSBAND is sitting at the breakfast table, reading the newspaper. '50s WIFE is dusting. It is the '50s.)

 

HUSBAND

Good morning, Sweetheart.

WIFE

I made you breakfast.

HUSBAND

Well, it is the '50s.

WIFE

And I ironed your socks.

(He reads something in the paper that alarms him.)

HUSBAND

Sweet patriotic Jesus!

WIFE

Darling, your language!

HUSBAND

Did you see this item in the paper?!

WIFE

No, but would you be a Dear and read it to me, like you always do?

HUSBAND

It says here that there is no mention of "God" in the Pledge of Allegiance!

WIFE

What? That can't be right.

(mumbles the Pledge under her breath to herself to check:)

I pledge allegiance to the flag--- (...etc.)

HUSBAND

Well, Senator Joe McCarthy will put a stop to that right quick. The man's a bastard. But at least he's a God-fearing bastard.

WIFE

Darling, your language!

(Enter the POSTMAN.)

POSTMAN

Postman!

(POSTMAN hands the WIFE a letter and exits.)

HUSBAND

That doesn't look like our regular mail carrier.

WIFE

No, dear, it's mail from the future.

HUSBAND

Mail from the future!! Hot ziggety! What will they think of next?

WIFE

It's addressed to me. But you'd better open it. It might be important.

(He reads the front of the envelope.)

HUSBAND

Holy blue-eyed Mother of God!

WIFE

Darling, your language!

HUSBAND

Well, Sweetheart, you take a look at the stamp on this letter, and tell me if you don't start cursing like a sailor on shore leave.

WIFE

Sweet apple pie!

HUSBAND

You see what I mean?

WIFE

37 cents to deliver a letter? Why that's enough to buy bread for a month. With real butter, not just oleo.

HUSBAND

Sweetheart, I don't think you're looking at the big picture.

WIFE

What big picture?

HUSBAND

The big picture of the man on the stamp.

(She looks again.)

WIFE

Who's Thurgood Marshall?

HUSBAND

I don't know, but by the look of him, I'd say he's a colored fellow.

WIFE

Colored!! Honey, put it down. Put it down! It might be dirty.

(He puts it down quickly.)

HUSBAND

It doesn't look like it was touched by a Negro.

WIFE

Oh, dear, oh dear! They wouldn't do that, would they? Let colored folks handle the U.S. Mail?

HUSBAND

Sweetheart, I think it could be worse than that. Judging by that stamp, I'd say that, in the future, they may even let a colored man become... (dramatic pause) Postmaster General.

WIFE

Oh God no, no, oh God!

HUSBAND

Darling, your language!

WIFE

What do you suppose he wants from us?

HUSBAND

Well, I don't think it's from Thurgood Marshall. That's just the stamp on it.

WIFE

You don't suppose it's a threat, do you?

HUSBAND

I suppose it's possible, but I don't know what we've ever done to deserve it.

WIFE

You always tip them so well.

HUSBAND

I guess the only thing to do is open it and find out.

WIFE

Oh, Darling, no. No! (Beat.) Well, all right, but wash your hands right afterwards.

HUSBAND

I will.

WIFE

With soap.

HUSBAND

I will.

(He opens the letter and reads it. She looks on, frantically.)

WIFE

Oh, God, if the neighbors found out we were reading mail from Negroes.

HUSBAND

It looks like an invitation.

WIFE

Oh God, no!! They want us to join them!!!

HUSBAND

Sweetheart, calm down. It's from your sister.

WIFE

Oh, well, that's a relief. Be a dear and read it to me.

HUSBAND

It says she's getting married. In the future.

WIFE

Oh, that's wonderful news! We always thought she was going to turn out an old spinster. When's the date?

HUSBAND

Well, I don't think we can go. They're holding the ceremony in the future.

WIFE

Now, why would they want to have the ceremony there?

HUSBAND

Well, maybe because the man she's marrying is named... Rachel!

WIFE

Sweet merciful Jesus! A Jew!!

(She faints dead away.)

(BLACKOUT.)

 THIS SCRIPT IS COPYRIGHTED MATERIAL AND MAY NOT BE DOWNLOADED, TRANSMITTED, PRINTED OR PERFORMED WITHOUT THE EXPRESS PERMISSION OF THE AUTHOR
AUTHOR'S NOTES:
BLUE font were cuts for the stage version.

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