copyright © 2003 Jeff Goode

Pride Bashing

by Jeff Goode

You know what I don't understand?


Somebody please explain that to me.

I mean I understand what it's like - don't get me wrong - to have something wrong with you that's like a sickness inside your head that you can't get rid of - like when you're a kid and your parents are getting a divorce and all you can think about is you just want to punch your little sister in the head if she don't stop crying all the time.

But you don't. That's my point.

And I understand - trust me on this - if you don't want to see a doctor about it, or one of these goddamn psychiatrists. We can't all afford to be John Q. Kennedy and sons. So you keep it bottled up - whatever it is that's bothering you - that's fucked up about you and you can't control it.

We, all of us, got stuff we gotta keep inside sometimes.

Thoughts, and ideas, and things that happened to the cat.

That's normal. It's called being normal.

What I don't get - and please enlighten me - is the people who think they gotta go walkin' around like they're gay in public. Like they're proud of it or something.

I'm sick of that.

You don't think I want a parade for how fucked up I am?

And it's not about being gay or being non-gay. It's people being proud of themselves for doing nothing. Just proud of who they are. They're black, and they're proud. They're gay, and they're proud of that, too.

Pride's a sin, you know. One of the Seven Deadly ones.

People shouldn't get a big head over something that's just the way they were born.

You know what I'd like to see more of?


People being ashamed of themselves for a change. Being ashamed to show their faces after what they've done. Ashamed of being a terrorist. Ashamed of being a cock sucker down on 7th Avenue. Or homeless.

Because that's what I would do. I'd be ashamed. I'm not afraid to admit it.

If I had turned out homosexual - and that's the way God made me... so be it - you wouldn't hear me complaining.

But I'd never leave the house either. I'd be too embarrassed. I'd stay indoors and be the way I was in the privacy of my own home. And not be out on the street telling everybody else how to live.

'Cause that's the attitude I don't understand.

Selfish - if you ask me - pure selfish.

I mean, am I right? Am I missing something here?

Selfish pride.



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