copyright © 2003 Jeff Goode
STATE OF THE UNION ADDRESS
by Jeff Goode
(Jeff and Chris reading from the State of the Union address)
READ.
The American flag stands for more than our power. And our interests.HEAR. That's a switch. Are you sure that's what he said?
READ. Yep. Right there:
The American flag stands for more than our power. And our interests.HEAR. Okay, if you say so. Weird.
READ.
This conviction leads us into the world to defend the peace and confound the designs of evil men.HEAR. Wait, now I'm confused. So he's coming down on the side of pro-peace?
READ. I guess.
HEAR. Cuz that's what it sounds like.
READ.
As our nation moves troops and builds alliances, we must remember our calling as a blessed country is to make this world better.HEAR. What? By moving troops? How does that make the world better?
READ. Maybe he means more troops and more alliances will make the world a better place. Or, no, maybe he means that by having more troop movement --- No, that doesn't make sense either.
HEAR. Maybe he means, because there will be fewer Iraqis the world will be a better place.
READ. Oh, that's probably what it is. Like the only good Injun is a dead Injun.
HEAR. So the more troops there are, the more Iraqis they can kill, and the world is a better place because of it.
READ.
We will not permit the triumph of violence in the affairs of men.HEAR. Whoa, now hold on! He's against violence?
READ. That's what it says.
We will not permit the triumph of violence in the affairs of men.HEAR. I could've sworn that was the whole plan. To triumph. Through violence.
READ.
Today, the gravest danger facing America and the world, is outlaw regimes that possess nuclear and other weapons...HEAR. We possess nuclear weapons.
READ.
These regimes could use such weapons for blackmail, terror and mass murder.HEAR. Oh, like when Condoleeza Rice said we're holding a gun to Saddam's head. I don't know if that's terrorism, but it sure sounds like a car-jacking.
READ.
This threat is not new. Throughout the 20th century, small groups of men, seized control of great nations, built armies and arsenals, and set out to dominate the weak and intimidate the world.HEAR. Wait, say that again.
READ.
Throughout the 20th century, small groups of men...HEAR. Like the Florida board of elections
READ.
Seized control of great nations...HEAR. Like the United States
READ.
And set out to dominate the weak and intimidate the world.HEAR. He's kind of tipping his hand there, isn't he?
READ. Right, but check this out...
In each case their ambitions of cruelty and murder had no limit.HEAR.
Hitlerism... militarism... communism...READ.
Now in this century, the ideology of power and domination has appeared again.HEAR. Americanism. ...Wow.
READ. Uh huh.
HEAR. Is he saying what I think he's saying? That if we're allowed to
dominate the weak and intimidate the world, that there will be NO LIMIT to the cruelty and murder that we'll commit.READ. Apparently. But then check this out...
READ.
All free nations have a stake in preventing sudden and catastrophic attacks.HEAR. Like the catastrophic attack on Iraq.
READ. Right.
HEAR. This is a cry for help.
READ. I think so.
HEAR. He's telling the free nations of the world, that they all have a stake in preventing us from attacking Iraq.
READ. I think so. Because look at this...
Trusting in the sanity and restraint of George Bush is not a strategy. And it is not an option. If this is not evil, then evil has no meaning.HEAR. Holy shit! He said that?!
READ. Yeah, it's right there.
Trusting in the sanity and restraint of Saddam Hussein is not a strategy. And it is not an option. If this is not evil, then evil has no meaning.HEAR. Wait, you said George Bush.
READ. No, I didn't I said Saddam Hussein.
HEAR. No, but before you said George Bush.
READ. I did?
HEAR. You said,
Trusting in the sanity and restraint of George Bush is not a strategy and it's not an option.[pensive pause]
READ. Well, it's not, is it?
[pensive pause]
HEAR. I guess not.
"State of the Union Address" IS COPYRIGHTED MATERIAL AND MAY NOT BE DOWNLOADED, TRANSMITTED, PRINTED OR PERFORMED WITHOUT THE EXPRESS PERMISSION OF THE AUTHOR
"State of the Union Address" debuted January 31, 2003, performed by Jeff Goode & Christopher Clarke.
Performed at No Shame Goes To War (Charlottesville), on March 21, 2003, by Chris Patrick and Jane Jones.
Performed at No Shame Theater Goes To War (Portland), on April 6, 2003. Performed by Jennifer Hartman and Rafael Untalan.
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