Habitrail there's absolutely nothing I can do to stop this fantasizing after I'm in bed about you kissing me and licking me and stroking me and stoking me and tickling and suckling and all those other k-sound verbs that really aren't respectable which isn't even mentioning the nouns I know with k-sounds for the part of your anatomy that truly is delectable or so I keep imagining although I wouldn't know because you never let me near enough to see you let alone to taste you even though you promised me one day we'd get together and do things to one another that are barely even legal well I thought you promised maybe not but all the same it seems to me that when somebody asks you to come over to his house at night and plays his damn guitar for you and drinks a quart of wine with you and turns you on by telling sixty-eight erotic anecdotes and finally unfolds himself to sprawl upon the kitchen floor a sexy interruption of the geometric pattern of the black and white linoleum well I don't know but I would say that constitutes an invitation jeez I only wish that I could stop all this remembering the thought of you I have to say is getting kind of irritating scurrying and squeaking like a gerbil in a Habitrail a- round and round and round and round and round and round and round and round and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on you know it's very inconvenient that the brain is so long-winded that it never has to stop to breathe the brain's a videographer who never caps the camera lens which means that when I shut my eyes to try to get some sleep at least my lids begin the screening of the circuitry of scrutiny the feature presentation is you looking at me looking at you looking at me looking at you looking at me looking at so Nietzsche has an aphorism saying in the end one only loves one's own desire not the object of desire which I must say might be true because the one thing on my mind these days has not been strictly speaking you but me and my obsession with you which is good for poetry but definitely smacks a bit of solipsism solipsism solipsism solipsism actually you know it's rather comforting to me this whole i- dea that you don't exist except inside my brain because I know although I can't control the you who seems to be outside me there's a presence in my head that I have christened after you it answers when I call your name it condescends to look like you it graciously arrays itself in willful eyes and nervous hands it says the things you said to me it does the things you did to me and better still it kindly does the things you've never done to me and never will and never will and never will oh there are many uses one can find for an homunculus a charming little pet that one can cherish and apostrophize and though I guess you might object to living only in my mind there's absolutely nothing you can do"Habitrail" IS COPYRIGHTED MATERIAL AND MAY NOT BE DOWNLOADED, TRANSMITTED, PRINTED OR PERFORMED WITHOUT THE EXPRESS PERMISSION OF THE AUTHOR
"Habitrail" debuted August 31, 2001.Performed at Best of No Shame on November 15 & 16, 2001.