Nerve Lag

Mike D'Alonzo

 

LIGHTS UP on HEATHER (Hilary), stage right, in a spotlight.  She talks with an air of enthusiastic joy.

 

HEATHER

Tomorrow, we marry.  I’ve waited my whole life

to say that and have it be true.  At one o’clock

tomorrow, Father Michael will marry us, and we

leave for Bermuda on Saturday morning.  And then,

God and everyone will know we are forever…

 

Enter MATT (Ace), center.  He stops the proceedings.

 

MATT

Wait.  It’s not like this.  I mean, the facts are correct,

but it’s not like that at all.  What she’s saying is all

wrong.  I mean, technically, it’s not wrong at all, but

the way she means it…I mean, you know?  The, what

do you call it?  Perception!  Perception is completely

wrong.

 

He thinks for a minute.

                                   

MATT

(cont’d)

And, anyway, you started in the wrong place.   It’s supposed

to start like this…

 

Enter MICHELLE, who takes stage left

 

MATT

(cont’d)

I grew up next to two sisters, Heather and Michelle.

For as long as I can remember, we were always together.

 

SISTERS

(together)

Come on, Matt.  Come with us.

 

MATT

But all I ever heard was…

 

MICHELLE

Come to me, Matt.   I love you.

LIGHTS DOWN on Matt, up on the sisters.

 

HEATHER

I think he’s adorable.

 

MICHELLE

I don’t think he’s finished growing yet.

 

HEATHER

I think he likes me.

 

MICHELLE

I don’t think he knows which way is up.

 

HEATHER

I think I love him.

 

MICHELLE

I don’t think…I don’t know what to think.

 

LIGHTS UP on Matt, down on Heather.

 

MATT

It seemed, the older we got, the less Michelle and I

spoke the same language.

 

MICHELLE

Se mi chiedeste, direi sì.

 

MATT

It didn’t matter.  Somehow it made her all the more beautiful.

 

MICHELLE

Se mi chiedeste, direi sì.

 

MATT

Like an opera or something.

 

LIGHTS UP on Heather

 

HEATHER

Ask me…ask me…ask me…

 

MATT

Meanwhile…

 

HEATHER

Ask me…ask me…ask me…

 

MATT

I understood her all too well.  Like a foghorn in

a swimming pool.

 

MICHELLE

Se mi chiedeste, direi sì.

 

MATT

Until one day…

 

LIGHTS DOWN on Michelle.

 

MATT

(cont’d)

She just…left.  Off to see the world.  Joined

the Navy to see if she could.

 

MICHELLE

(in darkness)

Il mio cuore è oceano, miglia largamente.

Non posso attraversare da lato a lato.

Non posso esigere l'un amore di I.

A meno che uccidere l'una I ami.

 

MATT

And time just…walked on.  Until…

 

He turns to Heather.

 

MATT

Heather?  Will you?

 

HEATHER

Ask me…ask me…ask me…

 

MATT

You’re the closest thing.  To me, you’re the

closest thing.

 

HEATHER

Yes, I will.  I will.

 

 

MATT

And so, yes, we are to be married.

 

Under this, Heather redoes her first monologue as she walks out the door.

 

MICHELLE

Se mi chiedeste, direi sì.

 

MATT

And she’s coming back tomorrow, for the wedding.

 

MICHELLE

Se mi chiedeste, direi sì.

 

MATT

And when I see her again, what will she sound like?

 

MICHELLE

Se mi chiedeste, direi sì.

 

MATT

Will I even understand her?

 

MICHELLE

Se mi chiedeste, direi sì.   Se mi chiedeste, direi sì.

 

She turns to look at him and says

 

MICHELLE

If you asked me, I’d say yes…

 

MATT

And what if I do?

 

Michelle reaches for him.  Heather’s arm reaches for him from behind the door.

 

Freeze.

 

LIGHTS OUT