"Pete" By, Christopher Clarke Lights up. Pete is alone on the stage and is still setting up. PETE Wait. Um, not ready yet. Could you kill the lights? Hard Blackout. Lights up as Pete is dragging his scene partner onstage. PETE Hi, everybody. Thanks for coming out tonight. I APPRECIATE IT! Pete takes a step forward. PETE This is an actual scene that I read once. He takes one step backwards - joining his scene partner. He hesitates and then takes a step to the audience. PETE Sorry everybody - I forgot to introduce my lovely scene partner and platonic friend Petra. Pete moves back into the scene. Long pause. PETE Wait. I almost forgot. Pete takes a step toward the audience. PETE Um - this is a scene from an untitled and unfinished play written by-- Petra whispers something. PETE (to Petra) Shhh - Petra, please, I'm dying out here. (to the audience) ... written by... me. Petra starts to go. Pete stops her and a long whispering discussion/argument ensues. PETE (finally) And by Petra Proust. Pete goes back upstage to join Petra. Pete looks toward the lightboard operator. PETE OK. (beat) Now. (beat) Could we get a blackout? Hard Blackout. PETE OK...Lights up! Lights up. Petra is walking briskly across the stage. Pete dives and tackles Petra. He stands and starts speaking - reading from his script. PETE "Man, am I glad I caught you before you started running again. Thanks for slowing down. What I really mean to say is, I appreciate it." (to the lightboard operator) Can I try that again? Pete waits a second for a blackout, gives up, then: PETE Nevermind. I'll just go from here. (indicating to Petra on the script) "...What I mean to say is, I appreciate it." Hard Blackout. PETE (in the dark) Wait, no, you guys. Not yet. Lights come back up to full. PETE I know that's the cue, but I'm going to be saying it several more times. Here on page two I have this... (to Petra) I added a poem. (to the lightboard operator) I'll just take you through it quickly. Um, page two. Pete flips a page of his script. PETE "It's been a short time. But a good time. A good time for me. And maybe for you. You don't really know me. But I sure know you. You are a treasure worthy of admiration. Your golden eyes. I appreciate your eyes. Your breasts.... They rock! Your flaxen hair. Oh, how I appreciate that." Hard Blackout. We hear a loud crash of some kind. Pete screams. Lights up. Pete is holding his crotch. PETE Oh my god! NO WAY! Now I really fucking appreciate that. Hard Blackout. PETE Amy, are you fuckin' with me? Lights up. Petra is gone. PETE Petra? Petra are you backstage? In the wings? Petra? Where did you go? Pete goes into the house, opens the door to the theater. Maybe we hear the "ding" of the elevator. PETE (from the house) Fuck this. (beat) Fuck it. Hard Blackout. THE END"Pete" IS COPYRIGHTED MATERIAL AND MAY NOT BE DOWNLOADED, TRANSMITTED, PRINTED OR PERFORMED WITHOUT THE EXPRESS PERMISSION OF THE AUTHOR
"Pete" debuted January 17, 2003 with the following cast:
PETE - Christopher Clarke
PETRA/PETUNIA - Jennifer Cousin