"Pete"
By, Christopher Clarke
Silence.
In the dark we hear:
PETE
I'm set.
(beat)
Okay....
(beat)
Um, lights up.
(pause)
I said, 'lights up.'
(silence)
Lights up, goddammit!
(pause)
Lights up.
PETE
Thanks. I APPRECIATE IT!
Pete takes out a pack of cigarettes
and puts a cigarette in his mouth.
He looks for a light. Can't find one.
PETE
Shit.
He searches all his pockets taking
everything out and putting it on the
table. No light.
PETE
Oh fuck, right. I left it in my jacket. Sorry everybody -
one second. I left the shit in my jacket. Hang on.
Pete goes to his jacket at the very
back of the house.
PETE
Nope, not there. Motherfucker.
(to the audience)
I'm really sorry about this, but does anybody have a light?
Someone from the audience hands him
a lighter or matches.
Pete goes back on stage. He lights
his cigarette.
PETE
(returning the light to the audience member)
Thank you very much. I REALLY APPRECIATE IT!
(pause - as he takes a long drag)
So....
JEFF GOODE
(from the back of the house)
I'm sorry, Chris, but you can't smoke in here.
PETE
Dude, I'm not Chris, I'm Pete.
JEFF GOODE
Irregardless, you can't smoke in this...
PETE
But my whole piece centers around...
JEFF GOODE just stares at Pete.
PETE
I mean I gave you guys my script....
(trailing off)
Okay. Fine. I understand.
He looks for something to put the
cigarette out in, gives up and
stomps it out.
PETE
I just wish.... I just can't do the piece not. It's all
about.... Y'know - thanks for telling me beforehand. I
APPRECIATE IT!
Hard Blackout.
THE END
"Pete"
IS COPYRIGHTED MATERIAL AND MAY NOT BE
DOWNLOADED, TRANSMITTED, PRINTED OR PERFORMED
WITHOUT THE EXPRESS PERMISSION OF THE AUTHOR
"Pete" debuted January 10, 2003 with the following cast:
PETE - Christopher Clarke
JEFF GOODE - Jeff Goode
Library]
