Episode Eight

JAVERT
Damn it, Deputy. I’m sorry about this, but in all my experiences as a law officer, this is the first time I’ve ever been completely at a loss. We aren’t tied up, but we can’t seem to move from these chairs. We were put here by a mysterious bunch of one-armed people. And the man we were pursuing, Mike O’Malley, murderer and thief, turns up murdered himself. I don’t know what to tell you, Deputy. I am at a complete loss.

DEPUTY
Yes, we are bound to these seats by mysterious forces, Detective Javert, and I guess it’s time for me to be completely honest with you. I am not the person I seem to be!

JAVERT
What do you mean?

DEPUTY
Perhaps you’ve noticed in the past weeks that my appearance seemed to change slightly.

JAVERT
Well, yes, I did think that to be a little strange.

DEPUTY
That was because my corporeal self was reassembling following the mystic disturbances caused by the Harmonic convergence this summer.

JAVERT
Well, what do you know. I never would have guessed.

DEPUTY
You see, my real name is Gerber and I once was the guardian of the nexus of all realities--just outside Citrusville, Florida, but that nexus shifted and is now centered at the Maid-Rite in Waterloo, Iowa. I was on my way there when I felt the forces at play around a one-armed man named Jake whose path was running parallel to your own quarry, Mike O’Malley.

JAVERT
I guess that clears up some of the confusion in my mind.

DEPUTY
Without me to stand watch over the nexus of realities the forces of darkness are preparing an assault of our very world even as we speak and we are helpless, held prisoner by invisible bands of mystic power.

JAVERT
Being just a Waterloo cop, I’m a little out of my element. How do we break these invisible bands of mystic power, Gerber?

DEPUTY
I alone, no longer have the power-- their force grows with each passing moment. I was hoping that your pure sense of justice would be enough to combat the forces of darkness. We need one more element--something with as much fury as hell itself!

SANDI
All I wanted was a little sex! Men! They’re impossible!

DEPUTY
Ah-ha! Just what we needed, a woman scorned! (Javert and Deputy jump from the chairs.)

JAVERT
Free at last!

DEPUTY
(To Sandi)
You! What’s your name?

SANDI
Sandi, with an "i".

DEPUTY
My name’s Gerber and this is Javert and we are united in a fight against the forces of darkness. Will you join us, Sandi, with an "i"?

SANDI
Are there men with these forces of darkness’?

DEPUTY
Sure are!

SANDI
Then sign me up. I’ll either get laid or get even!!!
(Thief enters, sees them)

SANDI, DEPUTY, JAVERT (together)
Forces of darkness, Beware! (Thief says "shit" and runs off. They see him and pursue.)

To Be Continue...

• November 13, 1987 - No Shame Iowa City
  

  FARMER          Sean Clark
  MIKE O'MALLEY   Mike Moran
  ANNIE JAVERT    Cheryl Snodgrass
  ROGER           Todd McNerney
  OLD JAKE        Brad Schnurr
  THIEF           Dan Gurler
  PAT RAMSEY      Bonnie Metzgar
  ROGER (2)       Dean Schmitt
  SANDI           Michele Sohner
  OTIS            Frank Ensenberger
  ROGER (3)       Jeri Schulke
  ONE-ARMED MAN   Brad Schnurr
  

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