copyright © 1999
Nick Clark
My Conception and Birth: A Brief Monologue About Nick Clark's Conception and Birth
by Nick Clark
[Lights up. Nick speaks.
]
This monologue is the true story of my conception and birth. If you don't
find it
enjoyable or entertaining, just imagine how I must feel.
I was born on May thirty-first, 1978. My brother Tim was born on July
18th, 1969.
In 1977, Tim, having just turned eight, decided that he should plan ahead
for his
tenth birthday. On August 10th, My family was vacationing in Dinosaur
National
Park in South Dakota. While Tim and his older brother Mike explored the
park, his mother and
father were working on his birthday present. He had asked for a baby
sister. Tim's
parents were in the back-seat of Dad's Rambler, parked in the shadow of a
pink stegosaurus, doing something which they had done at least twice
before. The radio blared
the sweet slow sounds of the Captain and Tenneile's "Muskrat Love"(The song
is the
only detail I have embellished). Suddenly, at the very moment my parents
reached
a mutual climax, the song was interrupted with awful news. Elvis Aaron
Presley had just been
found dead in the bathroom of his mansion, Graceland in Memphis Tennessee.
I have not known for long that I am the reincarnation of Elvis Presly. My
mother
graced me with this knowledge on my twenty-first birthday. A sort of
coming of age
gift.
On the subject of presents, I was given to my brothers as a sort of early
birthday
gift for Tim, or a late one for Mike. They decided to name me Nicholas
after the
child in "Eight is Enough". "Eight is Enough" is an insipid sitcom which I
have
never seen. I know that it was insipid because I was named after it.
After that I had an extremely abnormal, yet mundane childhood, and now I'm
doing a
No Shame bit about it.
The End.
[Lights die. Not the lights person, just the lights.
]
"MY CONCEPTION AND BIRTH: A BRIEF MONOLOGUE ABOUT NICK CLARK'S
CONCEPTION AND BIRTH" IS
COPYRIGHTED MATERIAL
AND MAY NOT BE DOWNLOADED, TRANSMITTED, PRINTED OR PERFORMED
WITHOUT THE EXPRESS PERMISSION OF THE AUTHOR
"My Conception and Birth: A Brief Monologue About Nick Clark's Conception and Birth"
debuted November 12, 1999 performed
by Nick Clark.
[Nick Clark's Web Site]
[Back to:
Library]
