[Table and one chair with thermos, cookies, newspaper. Downstage is
Nick]
Who here thinks No-Shame is the coolest darn thing ever? [Pause
] Who here thinks No-Shame is just pathetic? [Pause, depending on
response.
] I don't know why I'm asking you anyhow [or
] wow, you guys have thought this out a lot more thoroughly than I
expected.
Because this is my skit, my opinion is the only one which counts. So, here
it is.
In my opinion, No-Shame is just the same old scatological humor and
partial nudity
interspersed with some mild self satire or philosophical insight. It's
getting dull.
The audience is tired of coming here week after week and being treated to
relentless,
highly energetic fart jokes, blowjobs and self pity.
So, who better to bring something new to the stage than myself, a relative
newcomer?
I present the following. A truly relaxing no shame skit, taken directly
from my
own life.
[Nick sits at the table, pours himself a cup of tea from the thermos
and reads the paper
while munching a cookie. He does this for several seconds, and slowly his
hand reaches
inside his own shirt so that he can make fart noises with his armpit. He
takes off
his shirt and continues to make fart noises with his armpit while
continuing to read
the paper. He undoes his pants and pushes them around his ankles, then
jumps up
and starts hopping up and down. He has begun to shout.
]
BLOWJOB! TITS! FARTS! POOP! FUCKER!
[He puts back on his shirt and pants.
]
Jesus Christ I was such a moron for thinking this could work.
[Lights out.
]
"No-Shame Coup D'état"
IS COPYRIGHTED MATERIAL AND MAY NOT BE DOWNLOADED, TRANSMITTED,
PRINTED OR PERFORMED WITHOUT THE EXPRESS PERMISSION OF THE
AUTHOR
"No-Shame Coup D'état" debuted September 10,
1999, performed by Nick Clark.