copyright © 1997 Adam Burton, Chad Larabee & Chris Okiishi

"VEGAS TSG" IS COPYRIGHTED MATERIAL AND MAY NOT BE DOWNLOADED, TRANSMITTED, PRINTED OR PERFORMED WITHOUT THE EXPRESS PERMISSION OF THE AUTHOR

Vegas TSG

by Adam Burton, Chad Larabee, and Chris Okiishi

12/12/97 (BONS)

LIGHTS UP.

CHAD: Jake Hagen's cookin' bacon.

ADAM: MMMMMMM.... Bacon....

CHRIS: On a cold and dreary night.

CHAD: The wondrous smell was floatin'...

ADAM: To him it smelled ALLLLLright...

CHRIS: Three floors above the cookin'

CHAD: Sat Hagen's roommate Megan.

ADAM: A hardline Wiccan vegan,

CHRIS: The stench gave her a fright.

CHAD: [CLAP] Stay clear!

ADAM: Shhhh! Stay clear

CHRIS: Stay clear, Jake!

ALL: From a wiccan Vegas vegan girl!

[CHRIS and CHAD turn to look at Adam expectantly.]

[ADAM hits a frying pan with a cooking implement to make a note.]

CHAD: The floor began a rattlin',

ADAM: Her berks afire, a clatterin'.

CHRIS: She hit the sorry stairs

CHAD: In ones and threes and pairs.

ADAM: She stormed into the kitchen

CHRIS: Da' bacon hissin' sweetly

CHAD: "Why is ma nose a twitchin?

ADAM: And ya mouth, a droolin' neetly?

CHRIS: Don't ja know dat meat is murda'n and the porker is yo broda'?"

CHAD: [CLAP] Stay clear!

ADAM: Shhhh! Stay clear!

CHRIS: Stay clear, Jake!

ALL: From a wiccan Vegas vegan girl!

[CHRIS and CHAD turn again to face Adam, waiting.]

[ADAM sounds a note with the frying pan again.]

CHAD: Jake Hagen's jaw a slackin'

ADAM: It started Jake a thinkin'

CHRIS: Bout' friends he might've eaten'

CHAD: a crowin'

ADAM: moo'in

CHRIS: bleatin'...

CHAD: He grabbed his greasy bacon,

ADAM: His appetite forsaken,

CHRIS: Renouncing his intention

CHAD: For piggly di-gestation.

ADAM: Embraced the wiggin' vegan,

CHRIS: His wiccan Vegas pagan,

CHAD: Her scent was mighty fetchin'...

ADAM: Was she what he was missin'?

CHAD: [CLAP] Stay clear!

ADAM: Shhhh! Stay clear!

CHRIS: Stay clear, Jake!

ALL: From a wiccan Vegas vegan girl!

[CHRIS and CHAD look to Adam.]

[ADAM makes a note again.]

CHAD: The futon was a rockin'

ADAM: Their tongues were tonsil hockin'

CHRIS: And all because of bacon,

CHAD: Now it's love they're makin'.

ADAM: That wiccan Vegas vegan

CHRIS: Repentent Jacob Hagen

CHAD: Entwined in carnal matin'

ADAM: All life's a celebratin'.

[CHRIS and CHAD look to Adam again. ADAM makes final note.]

BLACKOUT.

"Vegas TSG" debuted November 14, 1997 performed by Chad Larabee, Adam Burton, and Chris Okiishi.

Performed again at the Best of No Shame on December 12, 1997.


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