Spinning on the floor. The last time I saw her, she was lying face down in that bloody mud puddle in that little waste of town. It’s not that I’m without remorse, but to be frank, the bitch deserved to die.

Lorretta and I were on our way out west. It was sure to be a real fuckin cowboy rodeo ride of a trip. According to hear I was the fuckin clown. I was trying to just ride in quiet, and not think about the reasons we was headed west, but then she had to start in with her bitchin. On and on she went just yellin about how I’m such an asshole and she’s not. She deserves so much fuckin better. Course, she has to remind me of everything I’ve ever done wrong. Like last winter when I tried to drown her. Which wasn’t even my fault. If she hadn’t been carryin on about how she was like some damned hamster on a wheel or in one of them plastic balls. How she never gets anywhere really no matter how hard she scrambles, I wouldn’t a had to hold her head in the bathtub. The more shit she brought up, the worse it just made things. Finally, I was just like, "Fuck all that, Lorretta, we’ve go to live in the future not the fuckin past."

Standing up. Ok, in Junior High, there was this one crazy chick named Lisa Lee. She was seriously nuts. That bitch tried to kill herself about a dozen times or so. And when she came back to school after her latest attempt with her wrists all bandaged and what not, I just looked at her and said, "How pathetic do you have to be when you can’t even kill yourself properly." The cunt went and fuckin cried to the principal. So of course I got my ass chewed. Shit man, that skank was always getting me in trouble.

So, Lorretta and me are stopped in this backwards little town cuz its raining and she’s a fucking pussy who don’t wanna drive in the rain. And I’ve got nothin ta do cuz when we left I only had time to grab my cigarettes and my bowlin ball. So, anyway, I suggested maybe I could drive if she wasn’t going to. But no, she won’t let me on account of I don’t have a driver’s license. Jesus Christ! Kill one little girl and you pay for it the rest of your life. Light up.

Sit. So, now we’re sitting in this shitty diner with some fat-assed waitress taking our order and I look over at Lorretta and she’s just glarin at me. Glare. You know? Glare. Like . . . Glare. And I’m like, "What now?" She just keeps glarin like shes fuckin stupid or somethin. And now, I’m getting pissed off. She knows better than to piss me off, but she just keeps glarin, not talkin. So I spit on and walk out. "I be in the fuckin car, bitch!"

Ok, so Lisa Lee continued to kill herself once a month all through Junior High. I mean, what the Hell’s wrong with this bithc? Just do it and get it over with already! But you can’t fuckin tell her that or no, you’ll have to go listen to the principal’s bitchin again. Fuck that! Stupid whore.

When Lorretta fin’lly decides to get her fat ass out to the car, I’m so pissed I just lock her out. That’ll teach her to be such a cunt. You’d think she’d learn anyway. Instead, the crazy bitch starts swearin and beatin on the car. I was laughin my ass off at her, makin a scene like that in the rain.

But when she finally did break a window, I’d had enough. I grab my bowling ball out a the back and throw it through the broken glass into the side a her thick fuckin skull. Jumpin outta the damn car, I run around front and grab her face just as she’s getting up. Pick up hamster ball. "Fuck you. You fucking whore! You broke the fuckin car, asshole. Getcher fat ass up outta the mud, bitch." And as her flabby, wet, whore-ass comes up at me, ready to fight, I just kick her square in the fuckin twat, knockin her ass back down. "Get up! Come on big tough fuckin dyke! Gethcher ass up!" She just lays there cryin in the fuckin mud. So, I kick her in the stomach until she stops her fuckin blubberin.

Ok, so I guess the end of our eighth grade year, that crazy bitch, Lisa Lee, had finally had enough. She finally stopped messing around with those damn razorblades and got herself a gun. It kinda makes me smile just thinkin about the whole thing. I’m not sayin’ I’m happy about it, but honestly, that bitch deserved to die.

• September 19, 2003 - No Shame Iowa City
  

  Performed by Jesse Blaine, Denise Dooley, Emma Tremmel

[Back to: Library]