This is the story of about how I’m a sad pirate. I’m a pirate. And I’m sad. Sometimes I cry. Then I weep and my belly shakes. That makes me cry even more because I am sad. And a pirate. The worst apart of being a pirate is the other pirates. I hate it when the captain spanks me. That makes me cry and be more sadder. I also don’t like it when the other pirates laugh at me. They go, "Hey, stupidhead!!! You’re a retard." At recess they push me down and I get hurt. And I cry. And I weep. Because I’m sad. And I’m a pirate. I don’t even get to live in the same bunks with the other pirates. No. They make me sleep in the "special pirates" area. By myself. Alone. And sad. And a pirate.

One time I was scrubbing the poop----Hehehe-----poop deck and the captain tripped over me. So, he beat me with his peg leg. It hurt. I cried. But I didn’t weep because I was used to being beat. But then he told me to walk the plank. Yeah. He said, "Hey retard sad pirate guy! Walk the plank and get ate by sharks." So I did, but the sharks swam away. They said I had cooties. Circle. Circle. Dot. Dot. Operation Cootie Shot. I hate those sharks.

But someday I won’t be a sad pirate. Instead, I’m gonna be a different job. I am gonna go to school and learn skills and then I’ll not be a sad pirate anymore. I’m gonna be a sad mailman. Then I can give people the mail. And cry. And weep. And be a mailman.

"Sometimes I Cry" debuted February 22, 2002, performed by Jesse Blaine.

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