Tarrytown, 12 Miles North of New York
Lights up:
Alright, this is case number 565-203, whereby defendant Miss …Anassa Kack-der-her.. has been charged with parking violation 11345 on Main, near the north corner of highway 9, in the city of Tarrytown, New York. Defendant Anassa …Komoker how do you plead?
Not guilty, Your
Honor: Only for ONE of the two tickets that was issued to me. You see, I was actually ticketed twice
within an hour for the same violation, and I feel that I should not have been
fined twice for that same violation. And, for the record, my name is pronounced
'Aneesa Ka Hoo Der'. No offense.
Is that so?
That is so, your
honor.
Interesting.
Yes.
How does one
pronounce that again?
'Aneesa Ka Hoo
Der'. No offence, your honor.
Is that Jewish?
No. Muslim origin. But
actually, I am a christ-----
A TERRORIST?!!
Not at all, your
honor. I wouldn’t think of---
Interesting. Tell me
miss Kawder-
Its-
Please do not correct
me, or I will have you thrown in a cell faster than you can say Guantamano Bay!
I'm sorry your honor.
I’m just pulling your
chain. . Haha! .Yanking your wank, Miss
Kawnto! Come on now! Ok. Lets get serious.
Let me ask you something, where is it that you are from?
I am from the United States
of-
Answer the Question!
Where were you born Miss Kantoneese!?
Lebanon, Your Honor.
My husband and I moved here 14 years ago, and I became a U.S. Citizen in 1993.
Is that so?
That is.
Interesting.
Yes.
Huh….
Your honor, I don’t see how any of this is relevant. I just came in here to plead against the second violation. I would rather not pay twice for this same violation.
You have money
to support the terrorists, but you don't want to pay the ticket, huh?
Excuse
me?
Would you
like me to repeat it, Ossama Bin Allyssa! (Or some better clever terroristic
phrase)
I am not feeling
very well with the accusations you are making, Your Honor. I request a recess.
There are
no recesses for Terrorists, Miss Kardio!
(She’s
week in the knees)
I’m just
kidding with ya, Lady! I was probably joking.
Probably.
(She’s
not responding)
Uhm..
Alright.. Hey! You’re on my hidden camera show! See, the camera’s in the back….
? And over there?
There are
no hidden cameras, Your Honor.
Shut the
fuck up!! No?
No.
(She
passes out)
Then, lets
get the hell out of here!
(They
both take off running.)
Lights
Out.
Directed by J.J. Hickey
Cast: Chris Clark as JUDGE, Traci Allanson as ANISSA, and Knighty as BAILIFF.
Performed by Samantha Sprole, Trent Westbrook, and Seth Silverman.