copyright © 2003 Brian Anderson
Time
by Brian Anderson
Sound up:
In the darkness: Sounds of a ticking clock. This plays
constantly thru the piece.
Lights up:
Man sits at a desk with a pile of papers and a phone. It appears he has a lot of work to do, but he is extremely bored.
(sigh) Ok. What time is it? Urgh. 5 more minutes! Jesus Christ! 5 more minutes. 5 more minutes till the weekend. The weekend! I’m doing nothing this weekend! Oh, man, that’s great! Yay! Ok, what time is it now? Urgh! 5 more minutes! Is this clock right? Maybe its wrong…I gonna make sure that clock is right.
The MAN picks up the phone and dials.
Pete, what time is it? Damn. 5 more minutes. Bye. Urgh.
Ok, the clock is right. What to do…? I got a ton of stuff to do… Time flies when you are busy. Time flies when you are busy. Time flies when you are busy.
Time flies when you are busy.
Oh man! Did I just say that outloud? Shut up! Ok, maybe I can sort this pile here. No, I hate filing. I wont have time to finish it. This will take me all day. I only have 5 minutes. What time is it? Oh! 4 minutes now! Good, good. The time’s moving faster now. Ok… How about I check my email? Ya. Lets see. Great! 10 emails. (Reading) Work at home, Work at home, bigger dick, unheard of viagra prices, size does matter, Hi there, bigger dick, low mortgage, You have one card waiting, affordable health care. Delete, Delete, Delete, Delete, Delete, Keep Hi There, Delete, Delete, Delete, and Delete. Lets open ‘Hi There”. “Hi there. Guaranteed to grow 3 inches or your money back. The chicks love a bigger”---Shit. Junk Mail. No one loves me. Delete and Close. Hmm. What time is it now? NO! 4 minutes still!!? But I just----oh man.. What can I do, what can I do…? I’ll surf the net. Lets see.. w w w dot google dot com. Ok.. lets search for…..oh hell.. what am I gonna search for? Search for….? Fuck it. I don’t know what to search for. What time is it? 3 minutes! Now we’re talking. Now what? Lets see who’s online. Lets see if Rochelle is online. “Hey Rochelle. What’s up?” (Pause) No response. Damn it. How about Mark? “Hey Mark. What’s up?” (Pause) Damn. Not there. Shit. Urgh, this is driving me crazy! Time? 2 minutes to go! How about a glass of water? Ya, that should take some time.
(He gets up and walks off stage. Comes back on with a glass of water.)
Ok, what time is it now? Yes! 1 min! Great. Now what? Hmmm…
(He looks up at the ceiling. Counting holes.)
1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6…..1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6…..7,…urgh! This so freakin’ sucks! I know, I’ll take the glass of water to the sink!
(He gets up and walks off stage with the empty glass of water. Comes back without the glass.)
Ok, lets see. URGH! Still 1 more minute! (Sigh)What am I doing this weekend? Nothing! Absolutely nothing but relax! Wait. That bathroom’s a mess. I should get that cleaned up. And my brakes are pretty squeaky.. I should get those done this weekend. Those dishes are piling up, I should at least put them in the dishwasher. My clothes are starting to really stink. I should pay my bills. The cat needs food. I need food-- Jesus Fuckin Christ is it time to go yet!? Urgh!
(He sits there waiting patiently.)
A few more seconds….! This weekend.. I got nothing to do… But relax.
(Ticking stops. )
If I only had the time.
(Lights out: Blackout)
Cast: Brian Anderson as MAN and MAN's VOICEOVER.
Cast: Brian Anderson as MAN and MAN's VOICEOVER.
Performed by John Shirley and Trent Westbrook.
Cast: Brian Anderson as MAN and MAN's VOICEOVER.
Cast: Brian Anderson as MAN and MAN's VOICEOVER.
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