Water Off My Back

by Brian Anderson

 

(Lights up on bare stage. The HOT DOG MAN enters in the audience selling hot dogs, soon arriving on stage)

 

HOT DOG MAN

Hot dogs! Get your famous hot dogs here!

How about you sir? How bout one of our world famous fresh and guaranteed juicy hot dogs?!

No?

Come on! Its guaranteed or your money back, or your money back!

No?

No. Alright, no big deal.  Like water off my back, ya know.

Hot dogs! Get your famous hot dogs here!  Come on people! Hot dogs!

No?

I'm just trying to make a living here!  Get them while they last, enjoy them before you get home only to find your wife surfing the internet in some chat room posing naked in front of a web cam fucking my best friend slash neighbor going at it like jackrabbits!

(Beat)

Get your hotdogs here! Family specialty, 4 pack for 10 dollars! The kids will love them. Hot dogs!

(pause)

Hot dogs.......

 

(Lights out)