Mr. APproachable enters the chat room
by Brian Anderson
MR. APPROACHABLE
sits at a desk with keyboard and mouse, facing downstage, looking out at an
imaginary screen. All of these other characters are offstage voices, resembling
Internet chat conversations.
Hoe-bot 1
(pop up
sound)Hi!
Mr.
Approachable
(Speaks out
loud as he types)Hello, SexyLexi69. Happy Valentines Day! Nice to meet you.
hOE-BOT 1
How are you today?
mr.
APPROACHABLE
I am good, thank you. How are you?
hoE-BOT 1
Horny. Are you?
mR.
APPROACHABLE
Uh..(pause)Yes?
hoE-BOT 1
Well then baby. Cum check out my
web cam, at www.fuck-me-hard.com/Tina. Fuck me special! Just for you sweetie.
Only $4.99 a minute!
mR.
APPROACHABLE
No thank you.(He closes the chat
window.)
Almost instantly
another window pops up.
Hoe-BOT 2
(pop up
sound)Hey baby! Horny Tonight?
mr.
APPROACHABLE
No thanks.
hOE-BOT 2
Watch me fuck my boyfriend on my
new web cam!
MR.
APPROACHABLE
No.
MR. APPROACHABLE
closes the chat window.
hOE-BOT 3
(pop up
sound)www.suck-you-dry.com!
mR.
APPROACHABLE
No!
MR. APPROACHABLE
closes the chat window.
hoE-BOT 4
(pop up
sound)Hey! I’m on my web cam. What
are you waiting for?
mR.
APPROACHABLE
Leave me alone!
hoE-BOT 5
(pop up
sound)
Want to suck my cunt? Click here!
mR. APPROACHABLE
No!!! Stop it.
Pop up after pop
up begin to pop up faster than he can close them. The following should all be
almost simultaneous, overlapping, building up to an overwhelming climax.
hOE-BOT 1 (pop up sound) What are you doing
sexy? Come watch my girlfriends and me masturbate for you! Click here! |
hOE-BOT 2 (pop up sound) Hi! Watch my boyfriend stick it to me. |
hOE-BOT 3 (pop up sound) Want to see me
perform oral sex on myself? Come check
me out at www.voyeurs-see-me.com! |
hOE-BOT 4 (pop up sound) Want to see me
naked? |
HOE-BOT 5 (pop up sound) Hi sweetie, Watch Me Get Fucked Now!! |
HOE-BOT 5 (pop up
sound) Hi sweetie, Watch
Me Get Fucked Now!! |
HOE-BOT 2 (pop up sound) Do you like to watch girls masturbate? |
HOE-BOT 3 (pop up
sound) Watch me get
nasty for you! Click Here! |
HOE-BOT 4 (pop up
sound) Web cams in
College Dorm rooms! |
HOE-BOT 5 (pop up sound) I'm Suzan, I love the feel of
soft cock in my mouth growing harder and harder with each lick! Click Here! |
HOE-BOT 6 (pop up
sound) I'm A Fetish Girl With A Hot, Wet, Dripping
Cunt! Wana Fuck Me? Click Here! |
|
mR.
APPROACHABLE
STOP! STOP! STOP! STOP!!!!!!!!!!
MR. APPROACHABLE
pounds on the keyboard, then clicks and clicks and clicks closing all the
windows in his silent rage!
Beat.
Rachel
(pop up
sound)Hello. Happy Valentines Day!
mR.
APPROACHABLE
(without
hesitation) FUCK YOU!!! LEAVE ME THE
FUCK ALONE YOU FUCKING HOE-BOT!!!
MR. APPROACHABLE
closes the chat window. Silence.
rACHEL
Excuse me?! Hoe-Bot?
mR.
APPROACHABLE
(takes
that in. discovers his mistake, recovers.) Uhm. Hello there “RachelIn818”.(pause)Happy Valentines Day!
Nice to meet you.(pause)How are you tonight?
BLACKOUT.
Cast: Brian Anderson as Mr. Approachable, Tory Seiter as Rachel and Scott McGee as the sign bearer. The rest of the cast was pre-recorded sound effects and robotic voices.
Cast: Brian Anderson as Mr. Approachable, Michelle Garb as Rachel and Tom Turner as the sign bearer.
Cast: Brian Anderson as Mr. Approachable, Jennifer Cousin as Rachel and Tom Turner as the sign bearer.