Yes Shame Archives (2003-2004)

Yes, Shame happened and it wasn't supposed to. But it did anyway because it was supposed to. Not many people were there, and most of them weren't even City High students. Very few pieces were performed and it was sad and three of them were the same piece and two weren't real. But here they are anyway.

1. Mark Johnson - Amsterdam

[Song about Amsterdam journey; Johnson and guitar]

2. Caleb Brown - I Will Now Count to 31 in Base 10 Using Just One Hand!

[Guy counts to 31 using just one hand, and his favorite number is an obscene gesture! Brown, Sullivan]

3. Saxton Kopecky - Embargo

[Guy's body is really weird. McKenna, Ringen]

4. Caleb Brown - I Will Now Count to 11,111 in Binary Using Just One Hand! (From on top of a ladder!)

[Guy counts to 11,111 from atop a ladder using just one hand, and his favorite number is an obscene gesture yet again! Brown, Plattner, Brodersen]

5. Erin Brodersen - I Will Now Punch Mark Increasingly Hard

[Erin punches Mark increasingly hard. Brodersen, Johnson]

6. Everyone - Swear words!

[People shout out all the swears they know, hilarity ensues. Smith, Brodersen, Audience members]

7. Caleb Brown - I Will Now Count to 1023 in Base 10 Using Just Two Hands!

[Guy tries to count to 1023 using just two hands but it falls apart and people leave as he continues counting. Brown]

Here are the numbers:

19: Number of minutes YST took to complete it's clumsy little life tonight.

1: Number of jackasses in the back row who talked during the whole 'show.'

68,400: Number of seconds YST lasted.

You know how you're really bad at the trumpet or violin, and you upset your mom or maybe you wake up all the cats in the neighberhood, well that's what Yes Shame is like right now. I invite you all to attend and we'll learn the trumpet together.

1. Hayley Richardson - Auxiliary Hall

[Sophie doesn't get the guy, dramatic monologue]

2. Allie Ludvigson - I Will Light The Fuse

[Spanish introduction to fiery love monologue]

3. Odie - Happy Halloween

[Sure the party is alright... but in comes Sonic and Hobo!]

4. Nworb Belai, the Backwards Chinaman - I'm not Caleb Brown

[Audience member gets wrapped in newspaper, five minute rule is broken with somewhat less drama than expected]

5. Kevin 'Khon Khen' Plattner - Three Poems

[Title tells all]

6. William Callahan - Christopher Colombus

[Indian-dots, or Indian-feathers?]

7. Jordan Smellie - A French love song translated through the abandoned modern miracle that is BabelFish

[French sing strange things in their fake-English]

8. Matthew Nutter - Script Error

[Six audience members... six blank scripts... dramatic monologue]

9. Will Kapp - Jabba Jubba Jabba

[Child loses touch with reality when money spills on floor, war is condemned]

10. Nick Brady - Cubix Rubing

[Three smart lads work out three Rubix Cubes]

11. Caleb Brown - They's All Wummoxed 'n' Furjumbled 'n' Such

[Caleb narrowly avoids 'lights out' calls. Huge scene, eerily poor planning]

12. Anne Sullivan - Ocean Wave

[Anne delivered a monologue. I really don't like one line synopses]

13. Will Kapp - Ocean Wave

[Frantic anticts]

14. William Callahan - Ocean Wave

[Will Kapp likes wet shirt contests]

!) Marelle B-something - Birkenstocks
@) Anne 'I didn't work with Helen Keller' Sullivan - Alfonso
#) William Callahan and Avee Chauduri - Alfonso
$) Moe Jozena - Pyromania
%) Kevin Platt(er)ner - Oh, Bugger Off
^) Whitney 'is the phone a..' Ringen - Young Master Copenhagen Returns!!
&) THE Michael Tabor - I'm Not Here Tonight
*) Caleb 'Ava' Braun - You thought it already happened?
() HayleyBird and Marielle B-something - Freak & Freak
)) Bill MicKenna - No, Now it's a Pigsty!
!)) Wallace Karpazio - Cubics Rubbing
!!) White Cat and Boney Macaroni - Ancient Aztec Dynasty

1. (Caleb "Mean Joe Green" Brown) - Caleb Brown
2. (Allie Ludwig's-son) - God I Soooo Envy That
3. Will Kapp (Ashton 'Punk'd' Kutcher) - Dude, Where's my Car?
4. Ilse ?? (Ill-Suh Bin-Dorf) - Ask Again Later
5. (Plattnerd) - Wrath of the Gods
6. (Jaded Monkey, Hoe Bozena) - The Dark side of Online Games
7. (Ill-Suh Bin-Dorf, P-tek) - Duran Duran
8. (William "The Third Basemen" Callahan) - Crystal Pepsi
9. (Walt Whitney Ringen) - I can read about good manners
10. (Plattnerd) - Impractical Jokes - (Kevin Plattner, Joe Mozena)
11. (Zadie Smith, Bestelling Author) - No More Greenwich Nice Time
12. (William "The Third Basemen" Callahan, Avee "I got drunk at my sister's wedding and made a fool of myself" Chaudhuri) - LA is on Fire

1. William Callahan and Avee Chaudhari - In My Journal, I Am An Explorer

[Scurvy sets in on the figment of a dying child's imagination]

2. Caleb Brown - A Brief Consideration Dictionarywise of (Erroneous) Fiends

[Dictionary is not correct until fiend is involved in the definition of the word fun]

3. Ashton Wallace Karpazio Kutcher - No PUNK'D Intended

[Hat and underwater goggles, no pun intended]

4.5 W.C. and A.C. - Autumn Road

[Poem that rhymes all the way through]

5. Laurenza - Roy G. Biv Is Dead

[The fictional tale of the death of the fictional bi-purpled man]

6. World Record - Just The Two Of Us

[Lesbians switch their forks and spoons only to find love]

7. Kyle Phillips - Quotes

[Kyle wants quotes for yearbook, and finds proof that William doesn't read scripts]

8. Mike McGay - I'm A Weirdo

[Internet chatting goes awry when one of you is in space(lights were turned off)]

9. Truant Haley - Tough Love

[A father fumbles over his own contributions, but finds that the belt is the best teacher]

1. Caleb Brown - My Shoes Have Left Me
2. Ilse Bendorf - Watcha Gonna Say To That?
*. Laurenza - Red Door, Green Door
*. Caleb Brown - Weird Guy Wossname
*. William Callahan - (hotel full of weird people; Seashore Hotel or something)
*. Whitney Ringen - (talked about a lady with the lights off, talked about her a little differently with the lights on)

Un) Plattnerd - CANNiBaLiSM

[A scrawny boy devours his master]
(Sullivan, Plattner)

Deux) William Callahan - Nostradamus and Meow Grit

[Meow Grit and Friend discuss Nostradamus' applicability]
(Brenneman, Callahan)

Trois) Paul Rust - Beagletown

[He asks the question, 'Can't we match our colours?']
(Rust, Guitar)

Quatre) Hayley - Enjoy the Weather, Charlemange

[Man makes people sad... until the sneeze]
(Richardson)

Cinq) Caleb Brown - Everybody Must Get Stoned

[Four hooligans crusade to get the YST audience stoned]
(Brown, Plattner, Brady, Mozena)

Six) Sadie Smith - Hogsheads and Hectares

[Couple find no harmony in their relationship]
(Smith, L-W)

Sept) Allie Tippe - Purple Skies

[Poetical prose concerning suffering, skies]
(Tippe)

Huit) Anne Sullivan - Mountain Don't

[He wants to prove he isn't shallow, she wants to know why hair products are so confusing]
(Sullivan, L-W)

Neuf) Next Buddha (Nick Brady) - Silence is Key

[Rythem Ho! Until silence is required]
(Brady, Mozena, Plattner, Callahan and the audience members who were cool enough to join in)

Dix) Michael Tabor - The Man Is Fat

[Is he really? Yes, he is.]
(Tabor... solo)

Onze) Ashton Kutcher (Will Kapp) - Duck Tales for my generation

[Man wants to beat something and the kids are all gone]
(Kapp, Rust)

Douze) William Callahan and Avee Chaudhuri - Ladies and Gentlemen: Your World Champion

[Grandpa wants to get attention of son. NO DICE!]
(McKenna, Callahan)

Best of Maybe Shame Theatre! That's a combination of Yes, and No Shame, thanks to local star MICHAEL TABOR appearing in the show. ---William Callahan

[Order missing]

1. William Callahan - Didn't You Hear

(performed by Will Kapp)
[Apparently people were attacking. Apparently nobody cared.]

2. Caleb Brown - Hacky Sack

(Caleb, Joe, Kevin, Gus, Shane)
[They played a rousing game of hacky sack.]

3. Joe Mozena - Particle Accelerator

(Caleb, Joe, Kevin)
[Teens are too smart to just sit around and talk about nothing. They should build something. Particle accelerator anyone?]

4. Allie Ludvigson - ...It's Not You...It's Me

(Allie, Whitney)
[Allie needed someone real to break up with. It's as easy as finding a stranger walking down the street.]

5. Will Kapp - And So It Began

(Will)
[Newscaster reads news and introduces himself. Once. Twice. Thrice. ...]

6. Caleb Brown - Whoa Sexy

(Caleb)
[Interpretive dance in the dark to that one song that's classical. He had lights.]

7. Nickels From Heaven - We're Not Going To Be Friends Anymore

(Emily, Erin)

8. Whitney Ringen - A Hih-story Story

(Whitney, Allie)
[America from beginning to end (present).]

9. Shane O'Shaugnessy - A Holiday Poem From A Sickly Shane

(Shane, Gus)
[Shane and Gus try their hardest to decipher an apparently illegible poem written by Shane. It's about the holidays.]